


My Life Changed When I Met You

by cophinelovin



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Cute, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Love, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Struggling with Sexuality, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9423560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cophinelovin/pseuds/cophinelovin
Summary: AU. Cosima and Delphine become friends in high school and their relationship progresses over many years. Cute, fluffy at times, angsty at times. Slow, slow burn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi - Here's a new, longer work. This is the longest thing I've written for sure! There will be 10 chapters in total. I do hope you enjoy it. Love hearing from y'all, so please leave comments. :)

_September 2002_

"Hey there, you want to sit with us?"

Delphine turned to see the source of the voice. She found a grinning brunette with glasses staring up at her from the lunch table, surrounded by a couple people she had seen around, but didn't know.

"Oh, ehm...merci...thank you," she stumbled.

The brunette moved over and smiled wide at her. "Sit here," she told her, moving over, her gaze never wavering. "I'm Cosima. You're new here, right? You moved from France? That's awesome, like totally cool to be some foreign chick," she rambled quickly.

Delphine took a seat, setting her lunch tray on the table nervously, looking at Cosima a little confused. She nodded anyway, answering, "Yes, Delphine...sorry, my English is not so good."

"Oh, that's no problem for us. This here is Sarah," Cosima replied, pointing at the punky girl across the table. "And this is her brother, Felix." She gestured to the gangly boy across the table.

"Hey," Sarah said, taking a bite of her Sloppy Joe.

"Well, look at you," Felix replied, eyeing Delphine over. "You a freshman too?"

"A fresh...men?" Delphine asked, confused at the word.

Cosima butted in, "Oh, uh, 9th grade. First year in high school."

A look of understanding rushed over Delphine's face and she nodded.

"Cool, well, you're welcome to hang with us, right guys?" Cosima asked and her long-time friends nodded. "We're kind of the outcasts here, so I hope you don't mind." She flashed her toothy grin at Delphine and the blonde smiled back.

"You are very kind," Delphine replied, happy that she was making friends so quickly.

Delphine's parents had uprooted their family to San Francisco when her father's job transferred him. She had been less than pleased. Delphine had always been a quiet person; she had a small group of friends back in Lille, where she grew up, but for the most part, enjoyed her studies, and worked hard to keep her grades where she wanted them. She was expected to do well by her parents. They were strict with her and she always wanted to please them. The idea of moving across the world had not thrilled her, but it's not like they had given her a choice. She was extremely anxious about making new friends, especially when English was not her first language.

She picked at her food, grateful for the considerate, outgoing girl sitting next to her. She caught her eye and smiled, the brunette beaming right back at her.

\---

_January 2003_

"Delphine! Hey, wait up," Cosima called out, running up to catch the blonde as she walked out of school.

Delphine turned and smiled to see the shorter girl bouncing toward her, a stack of books in hand, her backpack hanging off one shoulder. "Bonjour, Cosima," she replied.

"You want to come hang out? We can study for our bio exam together. It's gonna be such a bummer," Cosima said, catching her breath.

Delphine looked confused. "A bummer?" she giggled.

"Oh, yeah, like a total bore, not something I want to do," she explained, her free hand flying through the air.

Delphine nodded. The way Cosima spoke was always so funny; half the time Delphine could barely understand what she was saying. In the four months they had known each other, they had become inseparable, best friends. She quickly learned that Cosima had as much passion for school, and specifically for science, as she did, and they connected in so many ways.

They walked to Cosima's house, chatting as they usually did about anything and everything. It seemed like they never ran out of things to talk about.

"Mom, I'm home," Cosima called out as she entered the house. "Delphine's here. She's staying for dinner."

"I am?" Delphine asked, chuckling. "You did not even ask me if I wanted to."

"Oh, you want to," Cosima replied. "It's taco night." She raced up the stairs to her room as Delphine laughed and followed.

"I will have to call my parents," Delphine told her as they entered Cosima's room. "You know, they are not as carefree as your parents."

Cosima laughed. "Yeah, my parents are rad. But your parents love me. They'll totally be cool with you staying. And they've already met my parents, so they know you're somewhere safe."

Delphine smiled. It was true. Her parents were glad that she had made such a good friend who was a good influence on her, so they had been letting her hang out with Cosima as much as she wanted, as long as her grades stayed close to perfect.

They flopped down on the bed, both lying on their stomachs, heads at the foot of the bed, their books laid out in front of them.

"Ok, so like, Mr. Leekie is totally gonna pull a fast one on us tomorrow and put some crazy question at the end of the test, like for extra credit," Cosima told her, chewing on the end of her pen. "And we have to be ready. I want to show him that girls can be awesome at science too. He seems like he's always favoring the boys in the class, and that's unfair."

Delphine nodded, "I agree."

They studied for about an hour before Cosima turned over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Del?"

"Hmm," she answered, looking up from her papers and turning on her side to face the brunette.

"What do you want to do with your life?" Cosima asked, "Like what do you want to be be? Do you think about that? I mean, I know we're only, like, 15, but do you know?"

Delphine stretched her arms, rolling over to lay on her back. "That is a lot of questions, Cosima," she laughed. "I think I want to be a doctor, or maybe a scientist, or maybe both. I don't know. I want to help people, I think."

"Yeah, totally," Cosima replied. "How cool would it be to like, have your own science lab or something? That's what I want to do, like spend all day doing experiments, finding cures for things. I mean, I would look pretty awesome in a lab coat, don't you think?"

Delphine chuckled. "Yes. Yes, you would."

\---

_June 2003_

Cosima woke up early. It was their last day of school for the year. She had one more final and then she was free for the summer. Her first year of high school had gone better than she could have ever imagined. She had made a friend who she loved so dearly. Delphine was really special to her and she hoped they would stay best friends for a long time.

She wanted to show Delphine a really good time this summer, take her to all the best spots in San Fran, give her the real tour. They hadn't had the time during the school year, but now, the whole summer was ahead of them and she couldn't wait.

\---

_August 2003_

"You want to go back to the Golden Gate Bridge again?"

"Yes, what is the problem with that? It is beautiful, Cosima. I like it there. We can have a picnic in the park."

Delphine was sitting on Cosima's bed, after she had spent the night. It seemed like she was always there, but her parents didn't seem to mind. They were happy that she had made such a good friend so quickly and was adjusting to the move so well.

Cosima grinned. "Ok, fiiiiiine, but just because you're my best friend."

"Am I?" Delphine asked, beaming at the brunette.

"Oh, uh, yeah? I mean, I kinda think you are, if that's cool," Cosima answered. She flopped down next to Delphine, nudging her playfully with her shoulder. "We spend like, all our time together. I feel like if you were sick of me, you would've dropped me a long time ago."

Delphine nudged her back, laughing. "This is true. Yes, you are my best friend," she agreed.

"Sweet," Cosima stated, getting up from the bed. "Let's go then!"

Delphine giggled and followed her out. It really was a great summer.

\---

_November 2003_

Delphine was standing by her locker, waiting for Cosima to walk home, just like she did every day. She glanced over and noticed that Paul, the junior quarterback of the football team, was staring at her. She gave him a small smile and looked away, blushing. Did he notice her? Why was he looking at her? Delphine felt a rush of heat flush through her body and she was unsure what it was. Did she have a crush? She had never had a crush on anyone before.

"Hey!" Cosima shouted, running down the hall. "So sorry I'm late. I got caught up talking to Scott after class. He was going on and on about epigenetic influence on clone cells, and I was thinking, bla bla bla, my gosh, Scott, you're a bigger nerd than me."

Delphine giggled, picking up her backpack off the floor. "Cosima, you think I don't know you by now? I always expect you to be late."

"Yeah, yeah," Cosima replied, waving it off with a flick of her hand. "Shall we?"

Delphine nodded.

"You ok? You sick or something? Your face is all red," Cosima noticed.

Delphine blushed even harder. "It's nothing," she told her as they walked out the door.

"Nothing?" Cosima replied. "Come on, no way, something's up with you, Cormier."

Delphine let out a small chuckle. "Ok, but you can't tell anyone. It's kind of embarrassing."

"Aren't we besties? I would never tell anyone anything you didn't want me to," Cosima assured her.

"Ok," Delphine took a breath before continuing as they walked down the sidewalk. "I think I might, maybe, have a crush on someone."

Cosima smacked Delphine's shoulder with her hand. "No way! Who?"

"Paul," she stated.

Cosima gasped. "No freakin way! Hunky Paul, with all his muscles and shit? You're into that? He's like the biggest jock in school."

"I know, I know," Delphine replied, "I know I don't stand a chance with him."

"Uh...yeah you do!" Cosima exclaimed. "Dude, you're like a tall, gorgeous blonde. He'd be lucky to have you."

Delphine shook her head. "Stop, I don't think so. It's just silly. I'm...I'm embarrassed," she said.

"Nah, don't be...it's cool," Cosima responded.

"What about you?" Delphine asked.

"What about me, what?"

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" Delphine inquired as they arrived at Cosima's house. They sat on the front steps, setting their bags down on the ground.

Cosima's smile disappeared as she rubbed nervously at the back of her neck. "This was about you, remember? Don't change the subject."

"But I told you," Delphine replied, "So it's only fair if you tell me."

Cosima looked down at the ground. "Oh...um...I...I've never really had a crush on a guy. Never really interested me. I don't know...maybe I'm just like, not built that way or something. Like not interested in that way," she rambled.

Delphine looked at her with concern. "Cosima, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Nah, it's totally fine, it's just like, weird, right? I mean, I'm 16 years old and I've never had a boyfriend or anything," she replied.

"Well, neither have I," Delphine admitted.

"But at least you're interested," Cosima muttered, looking up at Delphine. "Hey, let's forget this. It's bumming me out. Come inside? We can work on our chem project, yeah?"

Delphine gave her a small smile and nodded, hoping she wasn't too upset. "You alright?" she asked, putting her arm around Cosima's shoulders and rubbing gently.

"Yeah, yeah, totally," she replied as she forced a smile. "Come on, I'm starving. Let's grab a snack."

She got up, pulling Delphine with her by the hand, their conversation pushed aside for now.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your response on this story. I'm very excited to share it with you all!

_February 2004_

Delphine couldn't believe that it had happened. She had gone out with Paul. He had kissed her. On the lips. Her heart was fluttering as she thought about his lips on hers. He had been sweet, taking her to dinner and a movie, paying for everything. He had taken them in his car, since he had his license already. It was everything Delphine had hoped it would be. She didn't know she could feel this way. She was giddy and couldn't stop thinking about him as she walked downstairs, beaming. She had to tell Cosima.

She sat down on the couch, taking the wireless phone off its receiver and dialing her number.

"Hello," a man's voice answered.

"Hello, Mr. Niehaus. Is Cosima there?"

"Oh, hi, Delphine. Yes, hold on."

"Delphine?" Cosima answered, smiling. "Dad," she called out, "I've got it."

Delphine heard the click of the phone before she spoke. "Cosima," she whispered, giddily, "I have something to tell you."

"Yeah?" she asked, flopping onto her stomach on the bed and propping herself up with her elbows. "Is this about Paul? Oh my god, your date!"

Delphine chuckled. "Yes, we went out last night," she told her, laying down on couch and putting her feet up onto the back of it.

"How was it? Was he good to you? Oh my god, because if he wasn't, I'll kill him," Cosima rambled.

"Yes, Cosima, he was very nice," she explained, "We went to dinner and then he took me to the movies, and he held my hand for most of it."

"Oh my god!" Cosima squealed.

"Yeah, and um, he kissed me."

Cosima felt a strange pang in her heart at Delphine's words, and her smile faded. She pictured Paul's lips on Delphine's and the idea made her shudder with disgust. She didn't know why she felt this way. She was happy for Delphine. She was the first of the two of them to go out with a boy. Still, she felt odd about it.

"Oh, wow," Cosima replied, more solemn than before, "That's, um, wow, Del. Was it...did you like it?"

Delphine remembered the jolt that had run through her body as his lips touched hers and she brought her fingertips to touch where he had pressed against her. "Yes," she whispered. "It was good."

"Cool," Cosima answered, unsure of what else to say. "So is he, like, your boyfriend now?"

Delphine chewed her bottom lip. "Um, I don't know," she responded, "Maybe? We are going out on Friday again."

"Sounds like he is," Cosima stated, trying not to let her weird feelings come through in her voice.

Delphine giggled. "Yeah, maybe he is," she answered, her head floating in the clouds.

"That's awesome, Del," Cosima told her, trying to be supportive. "So, you still coming over later? We've gotta get that project done for Mrs. S."

"Yes, I'll be there around 4," Delphine told her. "See you later, Cosima." She hung up the phone, a smile plastered on her face, thinking only of the cute boy who was into her.

Cosima sighed and placed the phone back on the receiver on the nightstand. She flipped over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. There was a feeling she couldn't quite place rumbling around in her stomach. She shook it off, getting up to go grab some breakfast. Maybe she was just hungry.

\---

_March 2004_

Cosima hadn't seen much of Delphine in the past month and she missed her. She had her new boyfriend now, and didn't seem to notice that she'd left Cosima behind.

Cosima sat on her windowsill, a joint pressed to her lips, careful to blow the smoke out of her window. She had been doing this a lot, smoking and thinking. Things were changing. It wasn't only Delphine that had changed. Cosima felt a change in herself too, and she was scared.

It had been a few months ago when it had happened. She had been out at the bowling alley with Sarah and Felix. She hadn't meant to, but she couldn't help but notice when Shay walked in. The junior strolled in, hand in hand with another girl. Cosima knew Shay had a reputation; everyone knew she was gay, but to see it firsthand was different. Cosima couldn't stop staring.

Shay and the girl took the lane next to them and Cosima had a hard time focusing on the game. Not that she was any good at bowling in the first place, but the distraction made it infinitely worse.

She was confused. Why was she so distracted by them? Why did she feel the need to look at them every time their hands brushed? Why was her body warm?

When the two girls next to them kissed, Cosima's eyes went wide before she shook her head, looking away, hoping that no one had seen. She felt a pounding throughout her body that she had never felt before. She had gone home, trying to make sense of it all.

As she laid in her bed that night, she started thinking. Could she be interested in girls? Is that why she never showed any interest in boys? Was she gay? She didn't really want to be gay. Gay people had it rough. If she was gay, she could never truly be happy. She could never get married and have a family. Did she even want those things? Wasn't that what everyone wanted?

She couldn't stop thinking about Shay and the way her hands moved over the other girl. Did she want to be that other girl? Did she want to kiss Shay?

Now, sitting in her room, the weed relaxing her, she knew. She had thought about it all the time for the last few months. She knew it was true. She hadn't told anyone because she was scared. She hadn't acted on it. She wouldn't even know where to start. The fact that Delphine hadn't been around was making it harder. She was terrified of what she would think when she found out. Would she hate her? Would she think it was gross? Would she be totally weirded out? She didn't want to lose her as a friend, but she'd have to tell her eventually.

\---

_June 2004_

"Hey, Delphine!" Cosima called out, catching the blonde right before lunch.

Delphine smiled back, shoving her books into her locker. "Hi, Cosima."

"Hey, so, I was wondering if you would come over Saturday night. You know, we haven't really spent a lot of time together recently and I kinda hoped we could have one of our sleepovers, like we used to," she told her.

"Yeah, I think that would be fun," the blonde answered, "Sure."

"Cool, awesome," Cosima beamed.

"I've got to go meet Paul. See you later." Delphine shut her locker and ran down the hall.

Cosima leaned her back against the row of lockers, sighing. This was it. This was the night. She was going to tell Delphine she was gay. Her hands shook just thinking about it. What if it went really badly? Why did she think this was a good idea? She wanted to tell someone so badly. She needed to. It was eating her up inside.

\---

"Cosima!"

The brunette turned to see Delphine running after her as she walked out after school.

"Oh, hey, Del," she replied, smiling.

"Hey, so, Paul invited me to this party Saturday night, and I told him I would go. I know we had plans, but maybe we could do this instead? We could reschedule the sleepover for another time," she told her.

Cosima's smile faded, trying not to show her disappointment. "Oh, um, yeah, I guess," she mumbled.

"Yeah?" Delphine beamed. "It will be fun."

"Yeah, um, sure, that's cool," she replied.

"Great!" Delphine exclaimed, pulling Cosima in for a hug. "Ok, I have to run. Paul is waiting. See you tomorrow night!"

Cosima sighed as she watched the blonde run off. She missed her. She missed the time they spent together before Paul.

\---

Cosima arrived at the party when it was already in full swing. She had never been invited to one of these parties. She definitely wasn't cool enough. Ever since Delphine had started dating Paul, she had suddenly become one of the popular kids. Cosima felt like she had been left behind.

She spotted Delphine in the corner with a red cup in her hand. She made her way through the hordes of drunk teenagers, waving to catch her eye.

"Cosima! You made it," Delphine smiled.

"Yeah, quite a place," she replied, sarcastically.

"Oh, it's fun," Delphine answered.

"Del, could we maybe, go hang outside for a bit? It's super loud in here," Cosima asked.

Delphine nodded, grabbing her hand and leading them to the back porch. They sat down on the steps and Cosima pulled out a joint and lit it.

"You want?" she offered.

Delphine shook her head. "I think I'm okay with beer for now."

"You go to these kind of parties a lot?" Cosima asked, taking a long drag from her cigarette.

"Yes, well, Paul is usually at one almost every weekend, so I go with him," Delphine replied, her eyes drifting away from Cosima and looking out. She seemed distracted.

"Are you ok? I feel like we haven't talked in a long time. I don't even know how you're doing...how things are with Paul...nothing," Cosima told her.

"Oh, yes, I am fine," Delphine responded, unconvincingly. Her mind was on the conversation she had had with Paul earlier.

"Babe, there you are," Paul shouted from the doorway. "Come on, the guys want to play beer pong and I want you on my team."

Delphine looked back over her shoulder before looking at Cosima. "I will be back, okay?"

Cosima shrugged, giving her a small nod. Delphine stood up, leaving Cosima alone once again.

She felt upset. She couldn't even get a moment with her best friend. She had wanted this evening to go differently. She had wanted to open up to her, to feel the connection they had always had, to tell each other their deepest secrets. But instead, all Delphine cared about was Paul, the stupid jock. What did she see in him anyway?

When Delphine didn't come back for a half hour, Cosima got annoyed. She walked back inside only to find Paul practically shoving his tongue down Delphine's throat. She sighed in frustration and went to leave.

"Cosima!" she heard as she felt a hand around her wrist.

She turned to face Delphine. "What?"

"Where are you going?" Delphine asked her.

"Home," she stated.

"Why? We barely hung out," Delphine replied.

Cosima scoffed. "Whose fault is that? I came here to hang out with you and all you're doing is spending all your time with Paul!"

"He's my boyfriend!" Delphine answered.

"And I'm your best friend. Or at least I used to be. Sure doesn't feel like that anymore. You barely hang out with me. You barely even talk to me. You don't even know anything about what's going on in my life. So forget it. I'm going home," she spat angrily.

"Cosima!" Delphine shouted as the small brunette walked out the door.

Cosima kept walking. She fumed as she stormed away, not knowing why she was so angry. She should be happy for Delphine. She seemed happy with Paul. Why was she being so selfish?

She arrived home to her empty house. Her parents were gone for the weekend and it was so quiet. She hated the feeling. She face planted onto her bed as her tears came. What was wrong with her? It wasn't normal to feel this way, to want someone all to yourself. She's still your best friend, she told herself, you should be happy for her.

She closed her eyes as she rolled to her side. As she opened her eyes, she had a thought. She had an overwhelming feeling of want. A want for Delphine to be there next to her as she opened her eyes, to see her beautiful face smiling back at her, her infectious laugh seeping into Cosima's eardrums. It made her smile for a moment until the dread washed over her and she gasped.

Did she have a crush on Delphine? Is this why she was acting so weird about Paul? Cosima sat up, panicking slightly, trying to make sense of it. Delphine was her best friend. They shared everything. And she was straight. So straight. She couldn't have a crush on her. It would ruin everything. Delphine would never like her like that, so it was so stupid to even think about her in that way. She shook her head, wiping away her tears and burying her face in the pillow as she fell asleep, as confused as ever.

\---

Cosima bolted awake, the sound of the doorbell jolting her up. She felt around for her glasses. What time was it? As she slipped her glasses on, she looked at the clock. _1:45_. Her heart pounded. Who was at her door this late? Being home alone was starting to completely freak her out. The bell rang again. Whoever was there was not leaving anytime soon. She got up, throwing on her sweatshirt and tiptoed downstairs, trying not to make any noise. Maybe she could get a look at who it was. She held her cell phone in her hand, ready to call the police.

As she got to the bottom step, her phone buzzed, scaring her and she yelped. She looked down at it.

_Hey, I'm at your door. Are you awake?_

Shit, she thought. Delphine. It's Delphine. She took a deep breath and ran to the door, opening it to find the blonde a complete mess, tears streaming down her face.

"Del? Jesus, you scared the shit out of me," Cosima told her before realizing what she looked like. "Shit, Del? Are you ok? Come in, come in," she said as she gestured inside.

Delphine didn't say anything. Instead she let out a small sigh and stepped inside, walking to the couch in the living room and slumping down.

Cosima followed her, sitting next to her, her face contorted with worry. "Del? What's going on? What happened?"

"Cosima…" she sobbed, shoving her face into the brunette's shoulder.

Cosima wrapped her arms around her best friend, rubbing her back gently. "Hey, hey, it's ok, whatever it is, it's ok," she soothed.

Delphine sniffled and pulled back. "He...he doesn't understand," she muttered.

"Hmm? Who? Paul?"

Delphine nodded and took a deep breath. "He tried...he wanted to...I told him I wasn't ready and he got so mad."

"What? What did he do to you?" Cosima asked, her anger building up as her mind flew to worst case scenarios.

Delphine shook her head. "He didn't touch me. He just...he just wanted to, and I told him no, and he got annoyed and told me I was being stupid."

"Oh, Del, what a jerk! I'll fucking kick his ass," Cosima told her.

Delphine let out a small laugh amongst her sobs. "I know you would."

"Would? I will." Cosima wiped Delphine's tears off her face with her thumb as she whispered, "What an asshole. I'm so sorry, Del. You deserve so much better. You know that, right?"

Delphine nodded. "I know, but I just...he is usually nice to me."

"Don't tell me you're going to take him back after this," Cosima warned.

Delphine shrugged. "I don't know," she whispered, looking down at her hands.

Cosima huffed. "Del, you can't be with a jerk like that." She took her hands in hers. "You are such an amazing person, and you deserve someone who treats you well, all the time."

Delphine swallowed. "Cosima, I'm really sorry...about earlier."

Cosima squeezed her hands. "Yeah," she whispered, "That kinda sucked." She sighed before continuing. "I miss you, Del, and I was really looking forward to spending some time with you tonight, and then...I know it's stupid. Sorry I was so selfish."

"No, no," Delphine answered, "I haven't been very fair to you. I miss you too, Cosima. I'm sorry I've been spending so much time with Paul. You're totally right. I got wrapped up in dating him. It's been really exciting but I've completely ignored you. So, I'm so sorry."

Cosima gave her a small smile. "Well, maybe we can hang out tomorrow? I kind of have something important I want to tell you."

"You do?" Delphine asked, curiously.

"Yeah, I mean, it's been awhile since we talked," she told her.

Delphine nodded, looking up at her. "Cosima, can I stay here tonight? My parents think I'm here anyway so I can't really go home."

"You told them you were here?""

"Well, yes, I told them before Paul had invited me to the party, and then I conveniently left out those details," she explained, flashing a grin at the brunette.

Cosima shook her head. "So bad, Cormier. Lying to the parents."

"Well, it's not technically a lie now, is it?" she asked, "If you let me stay."

Cosima chuckled. "Of course you can stay. I'm exhausted. Come on," she told her, grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs to the bedroom.

She gave Delphine an oversized tee shirt and a pair of shorts and she changed right there, not caring that Cosima was around. Cosima could feel her cheeks flush red as she caught a glimpse of the blonde's bare stomach, grateful for the fact that it was too dark for Delphine to see it. They got under the covers and laid on their sides, facing each other.

"Thank you, Cosima, you are the absolute best," Delphine cooed.

"Yeah, I know," Cosima laughed in response. "I'm just glad we're hanging out again." She thought for a moment about what she was going to tell Delphine the next day and her stomach turned, hoping it wouldn't change anything between them. This could be the last time she sleeps over. What if she's uncomfortable? Cosima closed her eyes, not wanting to think about that possibility.

"Me too," Delphine answered, snapping Cosima out of her thoughts. "I love you, Cosima."

Cosima smiled, looking over at Delphine's gorgeous curls and the way they fell around her face. "I love you, too, Del."

\---

Cosima woke up around noon the next day, and Delphine was still sleeping soundly. She watched for a moment as the sun grazed the golden hair of the girl next to her. She sighed as she got up to make breakfast.

The moment Delphine woke up, the memories from the night before came flooding back and she felt her anxiety pool in the pit of her stomach. She looked over to the other side of the bed only to find it empty. She got up, heading downstairs to find Cosima standing at the stove.

"Good morning," she called out.

"Del! Hey," Cosima beamed, "I'm making eggs. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she admitted.

"Tired? We slept for like 10 hours," the brunette smiled, scraping the eggs off the frying pan and onto two plates.

Delphine shrugged. "Well, it was a bit of a rough night."

Cosima came over to the table with the plates. "Yeah, sorry. Hope you slept okay."

"Knowing you were there makes it better," Delphine replied, and Cosima couldn't hide the heat she felt creep up her cheeks.

They finished their breakfast and ended up on the couch, sitting on opposite ends, both sets of legs up on the coffee table in front of them.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Delphine asked.

Cosima felt her heart rate shoot up and her palms start to sweat. She looked over at the blonde. "You know, we can talk about it another time. You've had a rough night. I want to make sure you're ok."

"Cosima…" Delphine said, "What is it? I am fine. I am here for you."

Cosima took a deep breath. "I...I don't know...I'm kind of like, nervous to tell you this, because I don't want things to change between us," she started.

"Why would anything change?" Delphine asked.

Cosima shrugged. "I'm just scared." She looked down at her hands, feeling a rush of tears come up behind her eyes unexpectedly.

Delphine reached over and rubbed the brunette's shoulder gently. "Hey, whatever it is, it's ok."

Cosima looked up at Delphine through blurry eyes and took a breath. "I...I've realized something recently...and it's scary and weird, and I don't know how I feel about it, but I think it's true...I know it's true...I...ugh...it's so hard for me to actually say it. I don't think I've ever said it out loud."

"What, Cosima?"

"Well, I...you know how I've never had a crush on a boy?" she asked.

Delphine nodded. "Yeah?"

"I think I figured out why," she told her. "I...I think it's because I like girls."

Delphine looked at her, confused. "You think you are gay?"

Cosima nodded, still not able to say the actual words. Her tears streamed down her face as she tried to read the reaction on Delphine's face.

"Please don't hate me," Cosima pleaded.

Delphine looked down and thought for a moment about what Cosima had just told her. She was surprised, lost in her head for a moment. She had known gay people existed, but her parents had always told her it was wrong, that it was unnatural. But this was Cosima. Her best friend, who she loved no matter what. How could it be unnatural if it was her? She lifted her head, Cosima looking back at her, with the saddest, most scared eyes she had ever seen on her face.

She snapped out of it, staring Cosima in the eyes and reaching out for her hands. "Oh, no, no, Cosima, I don't hate you. It's ok," she smiled. "It's ok."

Cosima sniffled. "Really? You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?" Delphine asked. "I'm surprised, maybe, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. You are right. You never had any interest in boys and you always seemed sad about it. So, this is right, Cosima. This is you."

Cosima closed her eyes for a moment, taking her hands away from Delphine's to wipe her tears away. "Th...thank you," she stumbled.

"Come here," Delphine told her, pulling her shoulders into her long arms. "I love you, you know that? You'll always be my best friend, no matter what."

Cosima let herself relax into the blonde's embrace. She couldn't believe how well this went. She felt the warmth seep in, feeling Delphine's body so close, and her heart fluttered. She knew in that moment that she loved Delphine too, but maybe more than she should. She decided then and there that she would never tell her, could never tell her, or else she would lose this, and she never wanted to lose this.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to follow me on tumblr ([cophinelovin](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cophinelovin)), I sometimes post other shorter fics that I haven't posted on here. Also if you want to chat, feel free to send me a message there. I love chatting with people.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for all your comments and support. :)

_October 2004_

"Come on, Cosima, we're going to be late."

The brunette looked into the mirror, applying her eyeliner. "Hold on, just a sec."

Delphine came out of the bathroom, her hair done up, pulled nicely behind her head, her makeup perfect, as she stood in a little black dress.

Cosima eyed her and felt her heart start to pound out of her chest. She looked gorgeous. Her neck was exposed, and Cosima couldn't help but let her eyes drift downward toward her collarbones, sending a jolt through her body.

"You ready?" Delphine asked, startling Cosima.

"Uh, yeah, yeah," she responded, catching her breath and shaking the thoughts from her mind.

"Ok, good, Paul is waiting."

Cosima turned and rolled her eyes, making sure Delphine couldn't see. She still couldn't get over the fact that Delphine took him back after what had happened. He had pulled some grand romantic gesture, showing up with flowers and begging Delphine to take him back. It made Cosima sick. As far as she knew, he hadn't pressured her to have sex since that night, but Cosima didn't trust him. Delphine seemed happy, so Cosima tried to let it go, even though she couldn't completely ignore the gnawing jealousy she felt whenever he touched her.

Cosima nodded to Delphine, heading for the door. "Yeah, yeah, Scott is waiting for me, too," she laughed. He totally had a crush on her and she had agreed to go to the dance with him, making it extremely clear that they were going as friends. She had come out to him soon after she told Delphine, and by now, half the school knew. She hadn't exactly planned for everyone to know, but it got out when she heard Ferdinand call Shay a dyke in the lunch line. Cosima had stepped in, and he proceeded to call her a dyke as well. She responded, saying he was just jealous because he knew both of them would never be interested in a guy like him.

She had felt pretty proud of herself (for standing up for herself, but also because Ferdinand was the biggest asshole in the school), and Shay had smiled at her in a way she wasn't expecting.

\---

They arrived at the dance and immediately, Delphine was pulled away by Paul. Cosima sighed, looking around. She turned and saw Scott's familiar goofy grin.

"Hey there, Scotty," she said, rather unenthusiastically.

"Hi, Cosima, w...wow, you look, um, wow," he stuttered.

Cosima waved her hand. "Yeah, yeah, come on, let's get some punch."

They ended up dancing and laughing as Cosima watched Delphine move next to Paul out of the corner of her eye. As the music turned to a slow song, Scott moved in toward her and she shook her head. "Uh uh, Scotty, sorry," she told him and he pouted.

Just as she was about to move off the dance floor, she felt a tap on her shoulder, turning to see Shay right behind her, looking at her nervously. "H...hey," the petite blonde said.

"Oh, hey," Cosima replied, looking at her curiously.

"I was just wondering if you'd want to dance," Shay asked.

"Oh, um," Cosima started. Did she want to dance with Shay? She hadn't really thought about Shay in that way. She saw Delphine out of the corner of her eye, Paul's body pressed against hers. Cosima felt a wave of anger and jealousy bubble up and she turned back to Shay. "Sure, why not?" She grabbed the blonde into her arms as she tried to catch Delphine's eye. She thought maybe, just maybe, it would make the taller woman jealous. She knew it was stupid and she didn't like her in that way, but she wasn't thinking rationally at the time.

Shay smiled up at her, placing her arms around Cosima as the brunette held her at her waist. Cosima moved them closer to Delphine and Paul, and when she knew Delphine was looking, she leaned in closer to Shay, pressing her body against hers.

She had never been so close to a woman before. Even though she had never thought about Shay in that way, she found her body responding to the touch. Her breath hitched as she pulled Shay's hips closer, swaying them gently.

Shay looked up at her, smiling. "I...um...you're really cute," she told Cosima.

Cosima looked into Shay's eyes, extremely nervous all of a sudden. "Um...thanks...uh…" she mumbled as she searched for what to say. She had never been in this situation before. It had always been theoretical. She never thought about what she would do in a situation where a girl actually liked her. "You're...uh...cute, too."

Shay grinned and moved her face closer. "I've really wanted to kiss you for a while," she whispered, moving her hand to the back of Cosima's neck.

Cosima inhaled a shaky breath, thinking her heart might pound right out of her chest. This was it. Her chance to kiss a girl for the first time. She wasn't about to pass it up. She leaned in, letting her body do the talking, and pressed her lips to Shay's.

The feeling was...interesting. She caught Delphine's eye right before she had leaned in, and she closed her eyes, picturing that she was kissing Delphine instead. She felt a shiver run through her body as Shay pulled her even tighter. Shay opened her lips and Cosima mirrored her, all of a sudden feeling Shay's tongue hit hers. She gasped, pulling tighter, kissing deeper, before she pulled back, trying to catch her breath.

Delphine watched as Cosima kissed Shay and she felt something she was not expecting. Paul grinded up against her, pulling her closer and she responded, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of something in her chest. She wasn't quite sure what it was but it felt a little like anger and sadness. She shook her head, confused as to why she would be feeling that. Her best friend was having her first kiss. She should be happy for her. She was happy for her. She smiled outwardly, and Paul took that as an invitation to kiss her, his tongue immediately shoved into her mouth. She let him, as usual, and pulled him in closer, trying to erase the sight of Cosima and Shay's bodies pressed against each other.

\---

_February 2005_

"Cos?"

"Yeah, Del?" Cosima sat up in her bed, her heart still pounding from her phone startling her. "What time is it? Are you okay?" she said into the phone.

"Sorry, sorry, I just...I needed to talk to you...it's late...I'm sorry," Delphine stumbled.

"No, no, it's ok," Cosima told her, pulling herself back to lean up against the headboard. "Is everything okay?"

Delphine sat on the edge of her own bed, Paul having just left. She had so many feelings running through her, not sure where to start, but wanting to talk to someone about them.

"I...um...Paul and I...we…" she trailed off.

"Oh," Cosima replied, knowing what she was going to say and feeling a sinking feeling in her stomach when she thought about him touching her in that way.

"Sorry, I just needed to tell you," Delphine said, not exactly sure why. "You know, we tell each other everything."

"Totally, wow, Delphine, um, are you ok? Was it ok?" the brunette asked, her heart fluttering nervously.

"It was...I don't know...it was fast...like, I feel like I barely knew what was happening," she explained, "Not exactly how I expected it would be. He was sweet though."

"Yeah, totally, I hear you," Cosima responded. "About the unexpected part."

"Wait, have you...you never told me," Delphine replied, feeling a tinge of sadness in her chest that Cosima would've kept something like that from her.

"Oh, um, yeah, I mean, Shay and I have been together for months now...I thought you'd just assume," she muttered.

"Oh, no, I...um, never thought," Delphine answered, "I thought you would've told me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just, you're always busy with Paul, I didn't really want to bother you or anything," she told her. "Are you mad?"

Delphine sighed, confused by all the feelings she had running through her. She had just had sex for the first time, with a guy she claimed to love, and it was good. She thought it was good, but she had nothing to compare it to. Hearing Cosima tell her she's had sex with Shay was not something she had thought about, and she felt a strange possessiveness come over her at the idea of Cosima being with the girl. She shrugged it off, knowing she should be happy for her best friend.

"No, no, Cosima, I'm not mad. That is wonderful," she said, pushing down the feelings she couldn't quite make sense of.

"Del, you alright? I'm sorry, but I'm so tired. Can we talk more tomorrow?" Cosima asked.

"Yes, of course," Delphine answered. "Thank you, for being there."

"Yeah, totally, no problem," Cosima replied.

"I love you."

"Love you too, Del."

Cosima flopped back onto her bed, feeling tears come to her eyes. It was so stupid. Why did she feel this way? She had a girlfriend now. A girlfriend who she liked a lot. She couldn't get the image of Paul touching Delphine out of her mind. He didn't deserve her. He was just some stupid jock. She deserved someone as smart as she was, as passionate about life as she was, someone...someone like her. Cosima rolled over, her tears flowing down her cheeks as she buried the thought, knowing Delphine could never, would never, feel that way about her.

\---

_August 2005_

Cosima lounged in her favorite armchair, her legs swung over the side, her head buried in a book when her phone buzzed.

_Can you come over?_

She looked at the text from Delphine and responded.

_Sure, what's up?_

_I just need you right now._

Cosima was out the door before Delphine could say anything else. Her heart pounded out of her chest. She drove to Delphine's house, ringing her doorbell to find her mother standing there. She said hello and Mrs. Cormier pointed Cosima up to Delphine's room, where the blonde had apparently been since she came home a few hours earlier.

Cosima ran up the stairs, knocking on Delphine's door.

"Hey, Del, it's me," she said.

She heard the clicking of the lock and the door swung open.

Delphine looked like a complete mess. Her eyes were red and watery, tears streaming down her face, her curly hair tangled in a sloppy mess on top of her head. She flopped back on the bed immediately after opening the door, curling up in a ball.

Cosima walked in and shut the door, her face painted in worry. She sat on the edge of the bed. "Del? Holy shit, what happened?"

Delphine let out a sob before answering. "He broke up with me," she cried, her body shaking.

Cosima felt her heart break at the sight of Delphine so upset. "Oh, hey, I'm so sorry," she whispered. She climbed into the bed behind the blonde, spooning her and wrapping her arm around her body.

Delphine grabbed her hand immediately and held it to her chest, crying even harder. "He's such a jerk. He told me he loved me but then he said he didn't want to be together when he left for college."

"Ugh, he doesn't know what he had, Del. He doesn't deserve you," Cosima told her, squeezing her tightly. Her body was buzzing from being this close to her best friend and she shook her head, thinking about the fact that this was the most inappropriate time to be thinking those thoughts about the blonde.

"Cosima…" Delphine sniffled, turning in the embrace to face the brunette, burying her face into her neck.

Cosima rubbed her back gently. "You're going to be okay," she soothed, "I know it hurts right now, but it will get better. I'm here for you."

Delphine nodded into Cosima's skin, her tears drenching the brunette's shirt. She grasped at Cosima's sides, pulling her closer and Cosima hoped she couldn't feel her heart pounding out of her chest.

\---

_November 2005_

"Cosima? What's wrong?

Cosima stormed past Delphine, rushing into her house and running up to her room.

"Cosima!" the blonde called out, running after her, getting to Cosima's room to find her pacing the floor angrily.

"That fucking bitch. She's such a fucking bitch!" Cosima yelled, hitting the top of her desk with her flat palm.

"Whoa, Cosima, calm down, please, slow down," Delphine attempted, but Cosima was not listening.

"How could she do this? God, I fucking hate her," the brunette continued as she opened the desk drawer hastily, pulling out a stack of papers and ripping them up.

"Hey, what's going on? Tell me what happened," Delphine said, "Those are from Shay. What are you doing?"

"I don't care. I hate her. I hate her," Cosima repeated, continuing to tear up the letters and throw them in the trash as tears started to flow down her cheeks.

Delphine ran over and threw her arms around her best friend, gripping her tightly. "Come on, calm down. Come sit down. It's ok, it's ok," she soothed, still not quite sure what had happened, but Cosima was in pain. That much was clear and Delphine would do anything to ease it.

Cosima allowed Delphine to sit her down on the bed as she sobbed into her shoulder. The blonde let her hands run over Cosima's back as she held her close. "It's ok. Tell me what happened," she whispered.

Cosima backed away, wiping her tears with her fingers. "She fucking cheated. She's been sleeping with that girl who works at the movie theater. For months. Fucking months," she cried.

Delphine shook her head. "What a bitch is right," she agreed.

Cosima sniffled and let a small chuckle come through. "Fuck her," she said.

Delphine put her hands on both sides of Cosima's face, wanting nothing more than to hold her close and make all of her pain go away. "Hey," she replied, looking into Cosima's eyes, "You don't need her. We've got each other. This is our senior year and we don't need anyone else."

Cosima nodded. "She's still a bitch," she stated.

Delphine laughed. "Yes, we've established this. What did you say to me when Paul broke up with me? He didn't deserve me. Well, she doesn't deserve you. You're so smart and beautiful and if she didn't see that, she is a fucking idiot."

"Delphine! Such language!" Cosima teased, giving her a small smile. "You must be serious if you're pulling out those words."

"I am fucking serious," Delphine half-joked. "We're going to have a great senior year, together. Okay?"

"Okay," Cosima whispered, feeling that her heartache was lessened greatly by the gorgeous blonde in front of her. She pulled her into a tight hug. "You're the fucking best," she whispered.

"Language, Cosima!"

\---

_January 2006_

"Come on, it's your turn, Delphine!" Felix called out.

Delphine didn't know how she ended up playing spin the bottle at a party, but she was starting to regret it. She was not in the mood to have to kiss a stranger, let alone have them potentially shove their tongue down her throat in their drunken stupor. She reluctantly leaned forward, grasping the bottle in her hand and spinning it. It made a few rotations before it landed.

Delphine looked up to where the bottle was pointing and her eyes met her best friend.

"Spin again, you got a girl," Scott stated.

"So?" Felix butted in, "Cosima's gay, so who says it has to be someone of the opposite sex? I for one, would love to see these two go at it."

Delphine felt her face flush and she hoped Cosima couldn't see. The brunette was staring at her from across the circle, half-smiling, half looking terrified.

"Alright, I guess," Scott conceded. "It's you two. Rules are rules. Come on, kiss."

Delphine stood up, her heart suddenly pounding. Why was she so nervous to kiss Cosima? It was just a kiss. She was her best friend. What did it matter?

Cosima arose and met her in the middle of the circle.

"Guess we gotta do this, Cormier," she joked, feeling that her own palms were sweaty and trying to hide the fact that she was practically shaking.

Cosima moved in closer, having to stand on her toes to reach the blonde. She pressed her lips to her best friend's and her hands instinctively went to her hips. As soon as they touched, she grasped Delphine's sides tightly, pulling her in toward her, unable to control the rush flowing through her. She felt the electricity down to her toes.

Delphine couldn't believe how soft and warm Cosima's lips were. The moment they connected, she felt something she had not expected. Cosima was pulling her closer and it felt good...really good. This was not the kind of kiss you were supposed to have during this game. It felt like it lasted forever, though it must've only been a few seconds.

When she opened her eyes again, Delphine's gaze met the brunette's and she could barely hear the hooting and hollering from the guys in the room. Cosima was looking at her with something she couldn't quite place, and it scared her.

Delphine broke the eye contact and looked down at the floor, suddenly nervous as she moved for the door. "I have to go," she said quietly as she ran out.

Cosima went to say something but the blonde was out the door before she could. "Shit," she said out loud and ran after her.

"Del!" she shouted as she found her walking quickly down the sidewalk.

Delphine kept walking. She didn't want to turn around. She was scared, angry at herself, confused at what she was feeling, and not ready at all to face Cosima again.

Cosima saw that she wasn't stopping and ran after her, grabbing her arm. "Delphine," she stated, firmly.

Delphine finally stopped, turning around to meet Cosima's eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" Cosima asked.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," Delphine answered, flatly.

"You don't seem fine," Cosima accused, "You ran out of there. Del, I know you. Look, if this is about the kiss, I...it was just a stupid game. I didn't mean…" She didn't know what she meant. She had felt something amazing when she kissed Delphine, something she knew she would feel, something she had wanted to feel but was too scared to. But Delphine didn't want the same thing. She knew that. She had to make it clear that it was a silly mistake. She couldn't lose Delphine now.

Delphine shook her head. "It...it's okay...I...I...I don't know, Cosima," she stumbled. She didn't know what was happening in her brain. She felt sick to her stomach when she thought about what she had felt during that kiss. Cosima was her best friend, and a woman. She wasn't interested in women. She had no problem with Cosima being gay, but it was not something she had ever thought about, had ever even entertained. She did not want to be gay. The thought terrified her. Her parents would never accept her. They were way too traditional, and had instilled those traditional values in her, for herself, for her life.

"Hey, let's just forget about it, okay?" Cosima soothed. "Like I said, just a silly game. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to do that." She was looking at Delphine, pleading with her eyes, hoping she wouldn't shut her out. Cosima's heart was aching inside her chest, but she had to push past it, for Delphine.

Delphine took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "You are right. Just a silly game," she agreed.

Cosima gave her a half smile. "We good? Because I don't want anything to ruin our friendship, Del," she told her.

"Of course, Cosima, we are fine. You could never do anything to ruin this," Delphine assured.

Sure, Cosima thought, she could never do anything to ruin it, except maybe tell her straight best friend that she was absolutely in love with her.

Cosima exhaled deeply and linked her arm with Delphine's. "Let me walk you home?"

Delphine nodded and hoped Cosima couldn't feel how shaky she was.

\---


	4. Chapter 4

_May 2006_

"Dude, it's going to be so cold there," Cosima whined.

Delphine had just told her she was going to Minnesota for college and Cosima was not happy about being separated from her best friend.

"Cosima," the blonde replied, "This is a great school for me. It will give me a great start. You know this is what I've been dreaming about."

"I know, I know," Cosima said, deflated, "I just thought you might go to Berkeley with me and we could take all our classes together. I mean, how fun would it be to be able to study together and be the two geeks that everyone envies because our skills are just so awesome?"

Delphine giggled. "That would be awesome," she agreed, "But I have to take this opportunity." She saw the hint of sadness in Cosima's eyes and took her hands in hers. "You know we'll always be best friends, right? Nothing is going to change that. And we'll talk all the time. I promise."

Cosima looked up into Delphine's gorgeous hazel orbs and sighed. She knew this was for the best anyway, putting distance between them. It wasn't healthy to be in love with someone who would never love you back in the same way. "Yeah, I'm holding you to that, Cormier," Cosima replied.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Delphine smiled, holding back her own emotions. She knew she would miss Cosima. She would miss having her to talk to every day. Just being in her presence, having her near, had a calming effect on her and she would have to deal without her. But she knew it was for the best. She would miss staying over with Cosima the most. The blonde spent almost every weekend night sleeping in Cosima's bed. The were inseparable in that way. She just felt so safe, knowing the warmth she felt was from Cosima, a friend she could trust and who would always be there for her.

She leaned in, squeezing Cosima's smaller body to her own, memorizing the feeling to keep her grounded as she started the next chapter of her life.

\---

_September 2006_

"Cosima?"

"Del!" Cosima shouted excitedly into the phone. She balanced it between her shoulder and cheek while hanging up her new poster of two women kissing that she had purchased at the student union store. "How's your first week been?"

Delphine sat down on the bench in the quad. "Oh, it is good...interesting...it is quite different here," she told her.

"Oh, like, in a bad way?"

"No, no, just, people seem a little more uptight than they were in San Francisco. Most people here have come from the east coast or the midwest. There are not a lot of Cali girls," she explained.

Cosima laughed. "Del, did you just call yourself a Cali girl?" She pressed the push pins into the wall of her dorm room and flopped down on the bed, laying on her back and putting Delphine on speaker, placing the phone on her chest.

"Yes, I am from California, am I not?" she asked, completely serious.

"You're so cute," Cosima chuckled. "But everything else is okay? How's your roommate? If she's rude to you I'll kick her ass. Did you like your first week of classes?"

Delphine giggled. "Cosima, slow down. You are asking me so many questions," she said as she ran her fingers back through her curls. "My roommate is fine. She's not you, but she's okay. And my classes are good. Except for the one at 8 in the morning. You would not like that one, mon amie."

"Oh, hell no," Cosima responded. "My earliest class is at 10, thank goodness."

"What about you, Cos?" Delphine asked. "You seem very excited."

"Oh, yeah, totally. It's cool here. I've already gone to a meeting of the Queer Coalition, and I'm already making friends!" she answered. "People are so interesting here, and like, hella cool."

Delphine smiled, trying to be happy for her best friend. She wished she could feel as excited about her situation so quickly, but she knew she just needed to give it time. "That is wonderful. Don't go and forget about me now with your new friends."

"Deeeel," Cosima whined. "That's impossible! Look, college is gonna be awesome, and we're gonna talk on the phone every week, alright? Promise."

"Okay," Delphine replied, her voice a little sad.

"It's gonna be great, Delphine. You are such a great person and you'll find a group of friends to hang with. I mean, how could people not want to hang with you? You're smart, pretty, talented, awesome, funny, sweet, caring...shall I keep going?"

Delphine chuckled, feeling herself blush slightly. "No, I get the picture," she laughed, "Thank you, Cosima. You always make me feel better."

"Well, that's my job, and I love you," she grinned through the phone.

"I love you too, Cosima."

\---

_March 2007_

_Fuck, college is fun_ , Cosima thought as she laid back on the grass in the quad. She had so many friends, so many girls vying for her attention. It was awesome. She was loving her new look too. She had started her dreads back in October and they were looking good. Her new nose ring didn't hurt anymore, and the tattoo on her wrist made her feel badass. She had gotten a Nautilus shell for her love of science. She loved the idea that the golden ratio could be found everywhere in nature. It reminded her that everything was connected. She was having a fucking blast.

She talked to Delphine most weeks, but not as much as they used to chat. She thought about the blonde often, still wishing she was there with her, but knowing she was doing what she needed to in Minnesota. Cosima couldn't help but feel like Delphine wasn't having as great a time at college as she was. She always sounded a little sad when Cosima told her all about the adventures she was having, but she wasn't going to stop having fun for her sake. She knew Delphine didn't make friends as easily as her, which is why she had hoped they'd end up at the same school. She sighed, thinking about the fact that all she wished was that her best friend was there to share all these great experiences she was having.

She grabbed the joint out of her bra and lit it up, looking around to make sure no one was watching, lying back, and staring up at the cloudless sky.

\---

_June 2007_

"Delphine!"

The blonde turned to see the dreadlocked brunette running toward her. She put down her bags, exhausted from the flight, and smiled, opening her arms to her.

Cosima wrapped her arms tightly around her and squeezed. "Oh my god, Del, you're here!" she squealed. "I've missed you so much!"

Delphine grinned and felt the warmth she hadn't felt in a while. "I've missed you too, Cosima," she croaked, "You're kind of squeezing the air out of me."

Cosima giggled and backed up. "Oops, sorry," she chuckled, "I just got super excited."

Delphine looked Cosima up and down. She looked different, older, more mature. "I like your hair, and your nose ring," she told her.

"Thanks!" Cosima exclaimed. "Check out my tat," she said, holding out her wrist.

"Wow, that is beautiful," Delphine replied, running her finger over the brunette's wrist.

Cosima felt goosebumps erupt from the touch and she giggled. "Come on, let's get you home. Oh, and we are totally going out tonight. I'm not wasting one minute while you're in town," she smiled.

"Okay," Delphine whispered.

Cosima dropped her off at home so she could say hello to her parents and get ready, and before she knew it, the brunette was back at her door, pulling her out by the hand, an excited look on her face.

They ended up at the local coffee shop, sitting on a couch, facing each other, Cosima making Delphine tell her every single little thing that happened at college. It felt like old times, and Cosima could feel that gentle ache for her best friend growing stronger. She knew it was not good to let herself feel this way, but she couldn't help it. Delphine looked so beautiful to her, even more beautiful than she did in high school. She stared at her, hanging onto every word the blonde said, wanting to know everything.

"So, it's gotten better then? You've made some friends?" Cosima asked.

"Yes," Delphine nodded, "I mean, I have a few friends. A small group. They are nice."

Cosima smiled. "Good, Del. I was worried about you there for a little while. You always sounded so sad on the phone." She reached her hand out to place it on top of Delphine's, rubbing gently with her thumb.

Delphine felt a tingle she wasn't expecting from Cosima's touch and she inhaled deeply, pulling her hand away to grab her coffee with it. "Yes, I had a hard time at the beginning, but it is okay now," she whispered. She looked at Cosima who was giving her the cutest smirk. She couldn't place it, but something was different. Something felt different. For the first time, she saw Cosima as a woman, not a girl anymore, not an awkward teen, and she felt something. She wasn't sure what it was, but there was a fluttering in her stomach, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"You sure you're okay, Del?" Cosima asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

Delphine nodded. "Yes, I am just so tired from the flight today, I think," she answered.

"You want me to take you home?" Cosima asked, before reaching into her bra to pull out a joint, secretly showing it to her. "Or, we could totally relax and smoke this," she smirked.

"Cosima!" Delphine exclaimed, "Put that away!"

"Not here, of course," she assured, "We'll go somewhere."

Delphine sighed. "No, I think I need to get some sleep," she told her. She was feeling weird, like she needed to get away from Cosima for a little while to clear her head.

"Okay, okay," Cosima conceded, "I'll take you home, no problem." She could see that there was something up with Delphine, but she wasn't sure what it was. "Hey," she smirked, trying to joke a little to lighten the mood, "One day, I'm gonna get you completely baked, okay?"

Delphine smiled and chuckled. "Okay, one day."

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your comments on this story. Much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

_January 2008_

_What was happening?_

Delphine put her bags down in her dorm room. She had just gotten back from Christmas break and she was confused. She flopped onto her bed, her tears flowing down as she curled up. She had spent a lot of time with Cosima over the break, and she missed her already.

_What was wrong with her?_

Lately, the brunette was the only person she could think about. She didn't like women, she couldn't like women. _Is that what this was?_ _Did she like Cosima as more than her best friend? Why should she miss her this much?_ The ache in her chest almost hurt. She wasn't gay. She was attracted to men.

_Then why did this feel like this?_

Cosima was her best friend. She loved her, of course. That's what this must be. She loved her. It was strong love, but that's all. It was completely normal to feel that way about your best friend, especially when you had such a strong connection, she rationalized in her mind. There was no way she was attracted to her. She couldn't even imagine it. She wouldn't even know what to do with a woman. The thought terrified her. She shook her head, wiping her tears, telling herself she just needed to put herself out there, find a nice guy, and everything would be fine.

\---

_May 2008_

_Holy shit_ , Cosima thought as she laid in bed with...what was her name? Jenna...Jenny? _Shit,_ she swore to herself as the redhead next to her slept. She chuckled to herself. She had been doing this way too much. Going out, meeting random girls, fucking them, then trying to avoid them as they became too attached.

She had been getting herself in some trouble. The lesbian circle on this campus was not very big. But she was just having fun.

_God, was she having fun._

Still, every time she was with a woman, caressing their curves, touching them, making them moan...making them scream...she couldn't help but think of Delphine afterwards. Her mind always wandered to her. She thought about how different it would be with her. She didn't love any of these women. They were all just quick fucks.

But Delphine...with Delphine, she would take her time. She would kiss every inch of her body gently, feel her smooth skin under her lips. She would take her in her arms and love her...make love to her...in a way she never experienced before. She would make sure her love for her was expressed in every little touch. She would make her feel like the most important woman in the world, because to Cosima, that's what she was.

And after, she wouldn't leave like she did with all these women. She would stay, and hold her tightly, and never ever leave her. If Delphine let her, she would hold onto her forever.

She sat up, throwing on her pants and sighed. It would never happen. She knew it would never happen. That's why she had been doing this. Sleeping with other women, to see, maybe, if they'd make her forget. But it wasn't working. If anything, it was making it worse. She couldn't torture herself like this forever. She had to move on at some point, accept the fact that Delphine would never love her in that way.

\---

_March 2009_

Cosima heard the doorbell of her parent's house ring and she jumped up. She was home for spring break and Delphine had come back too. She grinned as she ran to the door.

"Del!" she cried as she swung the door open. Her smile faded as she realized Delphine wasn't alone.

"Cosima!" Delphine exclaimed as she thrust herself forward, pulling the smaller girl into a hug.

Cosima squeezed her back, looking over the blonde's shoulder to the guy standing on the porch. _Shit, this is him_ , she thought.

Delphine pulled back. "Cosima, this is my boyfriend, Mark. He came here at the last minute when his other plans fell through. I wanted you two to meet."

"Hey," Mark said, extending his hand. "Nice to meet you, Cosima."

_Oh, this is where I'm supposed to be nice_ , Cosima thought. She smiled her best smile and gripped his hand tightly. "Hey there. I've heard a lot about you," she replied as nicely as she could.

"Yeah, me too. Delphine talks about you all the time," he responded.

Cosima nodded. "Uh yeah, come in," she said. She looked Mark up and down as he walked in, scowling to herself, thinking about his hands on Delphine's body. It made her sick to her stomach. She was so jealous. No one else should be touching her. He wasn't good enough for her.

She had looked forward to spending the week with her best friend, but now, _he_ was there.

"Hey, where's the bathroom?" Mark asked as they walked inside.

"Down the hall, to the left," Cosima told him, flopping down on the couch.

Delphine sat down next to her. "Sorry, I didn't know he was coming. He kind of surprised me," she stated.

"It's cool," Cosima replied, not really meaning what she was saying, "I mean, he is your boyfriend. You don't have to explain to me." She crossed her arms over her stomach, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the sofa pillow.

Delphine sighed. It was better this way. She knew it was. The less time she spent with Cosima, the better. She had kept her mind off the brunette by spending all her time with Mark. He was nice, and sweet, and she thought she could love him.

"He is a very nice guy. I think you will like him," Delphine explained, not looking Cosima in the eye.

"I'm sure I will," Cosima answered, her heart wrenching. Something was off. Something was different. It was too hard to be around Delphine. She knew the distance was for the best. She had been in love with her best friend for years and at some point, she knew, she would have to let it go. "I've got a lot of plans this week anyway, Del. It's better that he's here. I'm not sure I'll get to spend much time with you," she told her.

Delphine swallowed and nodded. She knew Cosima had been looking forward to seeing her for months, so she knew she was lying, but she accepted it, knowing it was for the best.

\---

_June 2009_

Shay moaned, her body quaking under Cosima's palm. "Fuck, babe," she groaned.

Cosima flopped over on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, her body coated with sweat as Shay caught her breath next to her.

The brunette got up, throwing on some shorts and a tee and grabbing a joint from her drawer. She sat down on the windowsill and lit it up, looking out at the sky. Her mind was elsewhere. It certainly was not here, with Shay.

They had reunited at the local dyke hangout when Cosima had come back from school for the summer and Cosima had figured, _what the hell_ , _she's a good fuck_. She needed something, anything, to take her mind off the fact that Delphine had stayed in Minnesota for the summer because her boyfriend had gotten a summer job there. It disgusted Cosima that she was following him around like a puppy.

She took a long drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the open window.

"Hey, baby," Shay called out, "Why'd you leave?"

Cosima shrugged. "Sorry, I just needed this," she replied, holding up her joint.

Shay whimpered and rolled herself up into the blanket.

Cosima looked back out the window, taking another hit. This wasn't healthy. She knew that. She needed to let her go, but she had no idea how. Her mind was still stuck on all that time they had spent together. At this point, it had been years since they had been that close. She wasn't even sure if Delphine was her best friend anymore.

Still, she pictured all those times when the blonde had slept over, every time that she came running to Cosima when she was upset, when she needed help, every hug, every embrace, every time she comforted the woman. She missed that. She missed her.

"Baby," Shay whined from the bed.

Cosima sighed, putting out her cigarette, and climbed back into bed, spooning the smaller woman, and closing her eyes, trying to let it all go.

\---

_May 2010_

_Hey, Cosima, it's been a while. How are you doing?_

Cosima heard her phone buzz and picked it up off the table as she sat down on the couch in her apartment. She looked down at the text and replied.

_Hey, Delphine, I'm pretty good. Graduation is tomorrow._

_Good to hear. Mine was last week. Do you have a sec to chat?_

_Sure._

Delphine dialed Cosima, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Hey, hey," Cosima answered.

Delphine smiled. It was good to hear her voice. They hadn't spoken on the phone in months. "Hello, Cosima," she replied.

"What's up?" Cosima asked, putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you were doing? You still seeing Shay?" she wondered, hating that the brunette had gotten back together with that cheater.

"Ah, nope, we parted ways about a month ago. We were kind of on and off at that point anyway," Cosima admitted, wondering why Delphine even cared.

"Oh, good," Delphine responded, "You can do so much better than her, Cosima."

Cosima huffed. "Delphine, you don't need to tell me who I should and shouldn't see." She was annoyed. Why was Delphine even calling her after all this time?

Delphine sighed. "Cosima, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not coming back to San Francisco," she confessed, "I'm staying here to do my master's. I...I'm moving in with Mark."

Cosima's heart sunk. "Oh," she said quietly.

"I am sorry that I won't be coming back," Delphine told her.

"Do you love him?" Cosima blurted out.

Delphine paused for a moment. "Why are you asking me that, Cosima?" she replied, annoyed.

"It's just a simple question."

"Yes, I do. But really, it's none of your business," Delphine scoffed.

"None of my business?" Cosima asked, getting up from the couch and pacing the floor. "Delphine, why did you even call me to tell me this? We barely talk anymore."

"I...I just...I wanted to tell you on the phone...not through text. I still care about you, Cosima. I know we haven't talked in a while, but you're still my friend," she said, running her fingers back through her hair. She was getting too upset. She needed to end this conversation. She had done so much work to distance herself from the brunette. She needed to get off the phone before her tears came.

"Whatever, Del. It's fine. You've gotta live your life, right? Maybe we're just holding on to something that isn't there anymore," Cosima admitted. "We were best friends in high school. And now we've grown up." She could feel the wetness creeping in behind her eyes. "Look, I gotta go."

"Okay," Delphine whispered, as she realized Cosima had already hung up. She brushed her tears away from her cheeks and told herself it was all going to be fine. She loved Mark. They were going to build a life together. She was going to have everything she ever wanted. A man to share her life with, a home, and one day, maybe she would marry him and they would have kids. It would be perfect, just like it should be, just like her parents wanted for her. A nice, simple, life.

\---

_June 2012_

Cosima sat in her apartment, staring at the invitation pinned up on the fridge. _She looks happy_ , she thought.

Delphine was getting married today.

Cosima couldn't bring herself to go. They hadn't really spoken in years, minus the occasional text message or _Hey, how's it going?_ on Facebook.

_She does look happy._ Delphine was smiling in the photo, her hair beautifully done, standing under a nice gazebo in Mark's arms. Cosima truly hoped she was happy.

She'd loved Delphine for ten years, but today was the day. She had to let her go for good.

She grabbed her keys and headed out the door. It wasn't long before she was walking into the tattoo shop where her friend, Bobbi worked. She'd been itching to get another tattoo, and this was the perfect moment.

"Hey, hey," Bobbi said as Cosima entered. "You finally gonna let me give you something?"

Cosima smiled. "Yup, let's do it."

"What do you want?" Bobbi asked.

Cosima pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and opened it up.

"A dandelion, eh?" Bobbi commented.

Cosima nodded. "Yeah, I like the idea that it lets go of a part of itself. See," she told her, pointing to the few seeds blowing away in the drawing.

"Time to let go of something?" Bobbi inquired.

"Yeah, something like that."

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're halfway through! I'll be taking a break from posting this story next week to post my Valentine's Day one-shot, so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and as always, love to hear from you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for leaving so much feedback on the last chapter. I know many of you wanted something specific to happen, and this next chapter might not be what you expect, but just trust me on this ride...
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_January 2017_

"Hello?" she grumbled into the phone. She looked at the clock and squinted, unable to see what time it was, but she knew it was early.

"Cosima?"

Cosima sat up abruptly. "Delphine?"

"Yes," Delphine answered. "I am so sorry to call you like...like this, out of the blue, but I, um, I did not know what else to do, who else to call." She sniffled into the phone and Cosima's eyes widened, hearing the distress in her voice.

"Oh, no, no, it's ok, what's going on? Are you ok?" she asked, worried.

"Um," Delphine said quietly, trying to hold back her tears. "I...I am coming back to San Francisco...for good."

"Oh," Cosima stated, confused. "Can I ask...what happened? Why are you coming back?"

"I am leaving Mark," she cried, "He...he...I just found out...he's been...cheating on me...for over a year." She let out a sob and Cosima's heart broke as all the feelings of wanting to take care of Delphine came rushing back.

"Oh my god, Delphine, I am so, so sorry," Cosima sympathized. She could kill that guy right now. How could he do that to her? Cosima knew he was a jerk from the beginning, but she wasn't about to say that.

"I...I was coming back to stay with my parents, but when I told them, they...they got so mad...at me, for leaving him," Delphine explained.

"What?" Cosima asked, incredulously. "That's insane! Why would they be mad at you?"

"Cosima, you know, they are very traditional...they gave me some speech about a woman sticking by her husband or some bullshit," she replied, angrily.

"Ugh, Delphine, I'm so sorry," Cosima told her.

"So, you see, I, um, I need a place to stay. I already have a flight booked but I can't...I can't go to my parents...I cannot face them," Delphine said through her tears.

Cosima shuffled herself back on the bed, leaning up against the headboard, her heart starting to race. "Come stay with me. I have an extra bedroom. You can stay as long as you want."

"Are you sure?" Delphine asked. "I am so sorry, Cosima, to put you out like this. I didn't mean to. I know it's been so long...I just, I didn't have anyone else to call."

"I am sure, yes," she told her, "I'm here for you. I know it's been a long time. But that doesn't mean I don't still care about you."

"Thank you, Cosima. Thank you so much," she whispered, breathing a sigh of relief.

Cosima took a deep breath, all the memories flooding back, wondering how she would feel when she saw the blonde again. It had been four and a half years since they had spoken. Cosima had dated, even had a relationship for almost two years, but she could never settle. She knew she wasn't still pining for Delphine, but she also knew she'd always be in love with her. She had accepted the fact that she would never be close with her again.

"Of course, Del," she whispered, "Always."

\---

_February 2017_

Cosima heard the knock at the door and her heart immediately started racing. She swung the door open, seeing Delphine for the first time in years. She looked amazing. Her curly hair was longer, but it still fell over her face softly in a way that framed her smile so perfectly.

Delphine beamed at Cosima, taking a deep breath and dropping her bags on the floor to pull her into a hug.

"Oh, Cosima," she breathed, squeezing her tightly, "Thank you. Thank you so much." She felt emotional from the trip, from the burden of leaving her husband. She had been a mess for the last few weeks, packing up the house, saying goodbye to all the memories she and Mark had shared.

Cosima pulled her in, smiling. She felt nervous, but as soon as she felt the blonde, her body relaxed, every inch of her skin remembering the touch. It was so familiar. "Come in, come in," she whispered, pulling back after a moment. "I can't believe you're actually here."

Delphine nodded. "Me neither," she said quietly as she picked up her bags and walked inside, placing them down in the kitchen. "This is not how I expected my life to be," she admitted.

Cosima sighed. "Yeah, I guess things don't always turn out the way we planned," she commiserated. "Come on, I'll show you around. Sorry, the place is not very big. You know, poor student and all. Maybe I'll make some money once I finish my PhD."

"No, it is perfect. Very cute, Cosima," Delphine smiled.

Cosima showed her to her room so she could get her things settled in. The brunette would never have thought in a million years that she would have Delphine there, living with her. Her heart fluttered with excitement and anxiety, hoping this wasn't a mistake. But what else could she do? It wasn't like she could have turned her away.

Delphine came back out into the living room after a moment, taking a deep breath.

Cosima could see the nerves plaguing the blonde and she smiled her sweetest smile, trying to make her feel at ease.

"Hey, you want me to order pizza and we'll hang out on the couch and watch a movie and pretend we're 16 again?" Cosima beamed.

Delphine's mouth curled into a grin and she giggled. "Yes, I would like that," she told her.

"Good," Cosima answered.

"Cosima, it's really good to see you again," the blonde admitted, coming to sit down next to Cosima on the couch.

"You too, Del," Cosima replied, her eyes gazing sweetly at her long lost friend.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

Delphine smiled and sighed. "You know, I've never considered anyone else my best friend, even after all these years. It's still you. I know, I know we've been apart, but I always thought of you, wondered how you were," she confessed.

Cosima gave her a half smile. "Yeah, me too, Del. I guess I couldn't get rid of you completely," she joked.

"Did you want to?" Delphine asked, pouting half-jokingly.

"Nah, I'm just teasing you Del," she sighed. "Come on, let's make up for lost time." It was so easy to fall back into their old rhythm. This is what Cosima was afraid of.

Delphine smiled, a warmth running through her. She was starting to feel better already.

\---

_May 2017_

"Del, I'm gonna keep the promise I made to you a long time ago. I'm gonna get you completely baked."

Delphine laughed, flopping down on the couch. "Oh, really?"

"Mhmm, we're gonna have some fun. Because you deserve some chill fun time after everything you've been through. Besides, we need to celebrate both of us finally completing our doctorates," Cosima told her, going to her bedroom and coming back with the joint. "And I've got wine," she said, smiling.

Delphine chuckled. "Alright, why not? Let's do it."

Cosima smiled wide and sat with her legs tucked underneath her next to Delphine on the couch. "Okay," she replied, "This is gonna be awesome."

They ended up lying back on the couch, a nice buzz from the pot, laughing and reminiscing about their time in high school, as they dug into the wine, easily finishing a bottle between them.

"Remember how bad Scotty had it for you?" Delphine laughed.

"Oh yeah," Cosima chortled, "He had a huge crush. I was definitely not feeling that."

They looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"So tell me, who are you crushing on now?" Delphine asked, chuckling.

"Crushing on?" Cosima laughed, "What are we? Teenagers?" She took the last swig of her wine and put her glass down.

Delphine giggled, her head falling back onto the back of the couch. "At least when we were teenagers, you told me these things," she replied.

"Not everything," Cosima said, her voice slurring a little.

"No? What didn't you tell me?" Delphine asked.

"Um," Cosima giggled, pausing before she blurted out, "Dude, I've totally had a crush on you since high school."

Delphine's smile faded and she looked seriously at the brunette. "You do?"

Cosima realized what she had said and it made her laugh harder, the weed making her head woozy. "I mean, I did…I did have a crush on you in high school…long time ago," she stumbled.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Delphine asked.

"I didn't want to ruin anything, Del, like make you uncomfortable, you know, I knew you were totally straight," Cosima replied, leaning back against the couch cushion. "I mean you were my best friend. And totally like the prettiest girl in school."

"I still am your best friend," Delphine answered, smiling, and putting her arm on the back of the couch next to Cosima's shoulders.

"And you're still the prettiest girl in school," Cosima teased, laughing at herself.

Delphine grinned and shook her head, giggling. "I don't know about the totally straight part," she admitted.

Cosima laughed as she turned her head toward the blonde. "That's a good one, Cormier. I've never seen anyone as straight as you."

"I don't know," Delphine replied, "I've had crushes on girls actually."

Cosima sat up. "No way!" she exclaimed.

Delphine nodded. "Yes, it is true."

"You never told me this! I thought we told each other everything," Cosima said in shock.

"You didn't tell me you had a crush on me!" Delphine yelled, a little louder than she intended.

Cosima looked down, fumbling with the ring on her middle finger, suddenly feeling a little more sober than she wanted to. "True, true," she whispered, before looking back at Delphine. "So tell me more about these girl crushes," she grinned.

"You're a brat, you know that?" Delphine replied, shoving her playfully on the shoulder.

"Yeah? I know. Are you avoiding the subject?" Cosima asked, her cheeky smile showing all her teeth.

Delphine shrugged. "I think I need more wine," she stated, getting up from the couch.

"Ok," Cosima agreed, following her off the couch. "I can get it."

Delphine turned and put her hand up. "I've got it, Cosima."

Cosima stumbled in her drunken and high state, falling into Delphine and laughing. She put her hands out to catch her fall, gripping at Delphine's sides.

Delphine shook her head, rolling her eyes at Cosima and putting her arms around the smaller woman. "Perhaps you've had too much?" she asked.

Cosima stood, leaning slightly forward into Delphine, feeling the warmth of her skin. She looked up, gazing into her eyes. She was going to say something, going to answer the woman's question, but she couldn't. She was lost in a sea of hazel. Instead she insisted, "Come on, I wanna know about these girls."

Delphine sighed. "Cosima, why are you so hung up about this?"

"Dude, my best friend of like 15 years just told me she might be just a little gay. This is exciting," she smiled.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Delphine responded, her arms still wrapped around Cosima. She loosened her grip just as Cosima leaned into her chest to rest her head.

"I'm sleepy," Cosima confessed, her head falling heavy just under Delphine's shoulder.

Delphine held her up, closing her eyes as she gave in to the embrace. "Perhaps you should go to bed, then," she whispered.

"But I'm having so much fun with you, Del," Cosima breathed, her arms snaking to Delphine's back, her hand rubbing gently.

Delphine let out a small gasp at the contact and Cosima hummed softly.

"I still wanna hear about these girls," Cosima whispered, "You're not getting off that easy. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't tease you about this?" She smiled into soft skin, her heart pounding at the closeness she felt. She didn't dare move, not wanting this feeling to end.

Delphine took a deep breath, her body responding to Cosima's touch. "Cos…" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I've only had a crush on one girl," she told her.

"Ohhh, so you were totally lying before," Cosima teased, " _All_ these girls you had crushes on."

Delphine didn't answer, pulling Cosima tighter to her, her chin resting on top of dreadlocks. Her lower lip began to tremble as she felt her nerves taking her over.

Cosima gave her a squeeze before backing up slightly. "Whoa, Del, I was just joking," she told her, "You ok?"

"I…" Delphine whispered as a few tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Cosima asked. She reached her hand out to cup Delphine's cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb.

Delphine closed her eyes at the touch, her breath hitching.

Cosima moved a little closer, unsure of what was happening, but just wanting to make Delphine feel better. "Hey," she whispered, tenderly.

Delphine opened her eyes, looking through her blurry vision at the small brunette in front of her.

"It's you," she whispered.

Cosima furrowed her brow. "Hmm?" she asked, confused.

"You're the girl," she stated.

A look of realization washed over Cosima's face. "Wait, really?" Her heart was now beating a mile a minute and she was searching Delphine's eyes for any indication that what she was saying was a lie.

Delphine swallowed. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so stupid."

"No, no, you are definitely not stupid," Cosima replied. "Delphine...I…" She put both of her hands on Delphine's cheeks, moving in so her face was inches away from the blonde's. "Del," she whispered, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Delphine gazed at her through teary eyes. "I…" she whispered.

Cosima cupped the blonde's face in her palms. She was practically shaking, trembling with what she wanted to do. "Del...I want...can I kiss you?" she whispered.

Cosima had barely finished the question when Delphine's mouth was suddenly on hers. The blonde surged forward, taking the smaller woman's lips with her own.

Cosima couldn't believe that this was actually happening. She felt like it wasn't real. Maybe it was because she was intoxicated, but she felt like she was having an out of body experience.

Delphine's hands were all over her as the blonde backed Cosima up into the wall. Cosima felt the electricity running through her body and she couldn't stop. Delphine's lips were so soft, so smooth. The little whimpers coming out of her mouth were turning her on unlike anything she ever felt before. Part of her wished it hadn't happened like this, when they weren't sober, but she didn't have the willpower to stop.

Delphine started bucking her hips as Cosima's thigh moved between her legs. She moaned, her hands tugging Cosima's hips closer.

Delphine felt desperate. She wasn't sure what was possessing her to be this bold, but she felt that if she stopped, she wouldn't be able to continue. She grabbed Cosima's hand and pressed it against her core, rubbing through her pants.

"D...Del, are you sure?" Cosima panted, barely taking her mouth away from Delphine's.

Delphine nodded and grunted, pushing herself even harder into Cosima's hand. "Touch me," she growled.

Cosima didn't argue, couldn't argue. She wanted this. She wanted her. She was going to move her hand to unbutton Delphine's pants, but she couldn't move her hand away. She could feel the heat through fabric and Delphine held her there, desperately bucking and moaning loudly.

Delphine groaned as her body couldn't take the friction anymore and she came, her body quaking against Cosima's hand.

Cosima held her, throwing her other arm around her waist as she shook. She couldn't believe Delphine had come just from that, but she wasn't complaining.

Cosima felt Delphine's breathing slow and she pulled back to look at her face. "Del," she whispered, tenderly, cupping her face.

Delphine swallowed, looking at Cosima, looking at her best friend. She felt a terrible fear rush through her body as she started to sober up.

Cosima saw the change in her face and she tried to soothe. "Hey, hey, you okay, Del?"

Delphine took a deep breath and backed up. "I...um...I...I need to go to bed," she stumbled. _What had she just done? How could she let herself get that carried away?_

Cosima looked at her, concerned. "Did I...did I do something wrong?" she asked, a feeling of dread running through her.

Delphine shook her head. "No, no...I just...I have to go," she whispered, turning and walking into her room, shutting the door behind her. She felt like such an idiot. She couldn't believe she had just done that. She was so confused and she buried her face in the pillow, her head spinning from the booze.

Cosima walked up to the door, feeling terrible, her heart aching. "Del," she called out, "I, um, I hope you're okay. Please, let me know if you need anything." She waited for a moment and when she didn't hear an answer, she sighed and trudged to her own room.

Cosima curled up on her bed, feeling sick. She felt her tears rush to her eyes. _Did she just fuck everything up?_ She couldn't think straight. Her mind was too foggy. All she could think about was how good Delphine smelled, how soft she was, how she wished she was holding her in her arms at that moment. She finally fell asleep, her pillow soaked from her sobs.

\---

Cosima woke the next morning with her head pounding as all the foggy memories from the night before came flooding back. She slipped on her glasses as she slowly sat up, her body feeling like it was moving through molasses.

She walked out of her room, seeing that Delphine's door was still shut and sauntered toward the kitchen to make coffee. As it brewed, she heard shuffling in Delphine's room. She was definitely awake. Cosima needed to talk to her.

The brunette poured a cup of coffee for herself and one for Delphine, padding slowly toward her door. "Delphine," she called out, "I have coffee. Can I come in?"

Cosima heard more shuffling and after a moment the door opened slightly. Delphine looked like a mess. Her hair was flopped in a crazy pile on her head and her eyes were red. She looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep. "Thank you," she mumbled, taking the cup.

Cosima furrowed her brow. "Hey," she said tenderly, opening the door wider and stepping toward the blonde. "Can we talk?"

Delphine sighed and put the coffee cup down on her dresser, walking back inside the room and throwing her clothes into the empty suitcase that was already on her bed.

Cosima followed her inside, confused. "What are you doing?"

Delphine continued to open her drawers, taking out piles of clothing and tossing them into the bag. She didn't look at Cosima. She couldn't.

"Delphine," Cosima said curtly, "What's going on? Please, talk to me."

Delphine took a deep breath. "I'm leaving," she stated, still averting her eyes.

"What? Leaving? You don't have to leave, Del. Please, can we just talk about what happened?" Cosima asked, anxiously.

"There is nothing to talk about Cosima. I do not think it is a good idea if we live together," Delphine told her, biting her lip nervously. "Do not worry about last night. It was a mistake."

Cosima put down her coffee, swallowing the feeling of dread that bubbled up from her stomach. "What do you mean, a mistake?" she wondered, "Delphine, you're the one who initiated it."

"I know," Delphine responded, hurriedly shoving her socks in the suitcase, "And I made a mistake. You did nothing wrong, Cosima. I am not mad at you."

"How could you say that?" Cosima choked, doing her best to hold back the tears she knew were threatening to fall.

"Cosima, please," the blonde replied, "Do not make this harder than it has to be." Her stomach was twisting and turning. She knew she would lose it if she looked at the smaller woman. She couldn't do it. She couldn't give in. Her intoxicated state had made her let her guard down last night, but she knew it wasn't right. She couldn't be with a woman, let alone Cosima. The thought was too terrifying. She was sure her family would never speak to her again if she did. Then, she would have nothing. No marriage, no family, no one.

Cosima scoffed. "Hard? Delphine, you have no idea," she stated, moving closer to the blonde. "Look at me. Please, look at me."

Delphine could feel the wetness behind her eyes as she finally allowed herself to meet Cosima's eyes, only for a moment, before looking down at the ground.

"Delphine, I've been in...I've cared about you for so long," Cosima started, "I thought for one second, for one fucking second, that you felt the same. And I was so fucking happy for that second, thinking, my god, this is really happening, this is real, she feels the same. But now…now this?" Cosima was trembling, desperately fighting back her tears.

Delphine shook her head. "Just forget it, Cosima!" she said angrily. "I want to go back to what we had before...being friends, that's it."

"Well, I can't. I can't go back after last night," Cosima stood her ground, knowing that things would never, could never, be the same. "We're done. I don't want to hear from you again."

Cosima turned and walked out the door, heading into her own room and slamming the door shut. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She was so angry, for what Delphine had put her through. She couldn't play with her heart like that. She was completely done. She waited until she heard the blonde leave the apartment, knowing that this would probably break her worse than anything had before. But she had to do it, for her own sanity.

She had already tried to let go of Delphine once. It was a mistake to have let her back into her life again. A huge mistake. She ran her fingers over her dandelion tattoo as the tears rushed down her cheeks.

She was going to have to forget. Forget the way Delphine's lips had felt on hers, so soft, so warm. Forget the sparks she had felt running between them. Forget the way Delphine's hands had grasped at her sides so desperately, her small whimpers as she had craved Cosima's touch. Forget the way she smiled. Forget her laugh. Forget her voice. Forget it all.

\---


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know y'all are mad at me for the last chapter, but I promise things will start to look up soon...it's just the way I wanted to tell the story...
> 
> Thanks for your feedback though.

_October 2025_

_Oh my god, it's her._ The dreadlocks were unmistakable, and Delphine stared at the brunette from behind. _It's been eight years._ She hesitated before gaining her composure and swallowing her fear. She had to say hello.

"Cosima?"

The brunette's heart skipped a beat as she heard the accented voice, tossing the coffee stirrer in the garbage before turning around. She looked at the woman who had just entered the small café.

"Delphine?"

Delphine gave her a smile and walked closer. "Hi, I thought that was you. How...how are you?"

Cosima took a breath, her brain still processing the fact that Delphine was standing in front of her. It had been such a long time. The blonde looked more mature, more professional than she had ever seen her. She was definitely not a kid anymore. She looked much more confident than ever before, in her tailored suit and high heels that made her look like a goddess.

She gulped before she finally found her words. "Oh, I'm pretty good. How are you?" she replied, politely.

"I am well," Delphine responded. She could feel the awkwardness between them, everything that was left unsaid still floating around in her mind from all those years ago.

"Good," Cosima stated, "I, uh, I heard you were in Toronto. You work at the DYAD now, right?"

"Yes," Delphine nodded, "I mean, I was in Toronto for a while. I am actually back here now. DYAD has opened a new facility, and I...I am running it." She grinned, her heart rate steadily increasing as she became more and more excited at the fact that she was actually standing there, speaking to Cosima.

"Oh, wow," Cosima said, "Um, congratulations...that's amazing." _She's back in San Francisco_ , Cosima thought, that one point sticking in her mind.

"What about you? What are you up to these days?" Delphine asked.

"Oh, I'm a professor at Berkeley," Cosima replied, "Been there for a while now." She picked up her coffee from the counter. "Speaking of, I kind of have to run…class in an hour and I've gotta prep. It was, uh, good to run into you, Delphine."

Delphine smiled. "Oh okay, of course, I don't want to hold you up." _This is your chance, don't blow it_ , she thought.

Cosima nodded, giving her a half grin as she started for the door.

Delphine watched as the brunette walked away from her. _Do it. Now._

"Cosima?" she heard as she approached the exit.

"Hmm?" she answered as she turned for a moment.

"Um, I was wondering if I could call you sometime," Delphine muttered, "I...I would love to catch up...if you'd be up for it."

Cosima sighed. _Should she let her back in her life? How many times had she made this mistake? It was just a call...catching up...it didn't mean she was letting her back into her life completely._ "Sure," she replied.

Delphine breathed a sigh of relief. "Same number?"

"Same number."

\---

_November 2025_

Cosima took a deep breath, her pulse racing as she walked up to the restaurant. She didn't know why she was so...nervous? Excited? She was meeting Delphine for dinner. It was strictly platonic, she knew that, but she wasn't sure what this would mean. She didn't know how she would feel when she was with her again. Would it be easy to fall back into being friends again? Would all her feelings resurface? Her entire body was buzzing as she walked inside and saw Delphine wave to her, already seated at a table. She stood as Cosima approached.

"So sorry I'm late," Cosima apologized.

Delphine smiled. "Ah, so some things never change." She gave Cosima a quick hug and they both sat.

Cosima shrugged and gave her a grin. "I guess not," she joked. "I forgot...you know me well."

They ordered some wine and food and chatted, mostly about their jobs, what they had been up to for the last eight years. The conversation was making Delphine antsy. She had asked Cosima here for a reason. She needed to make things right.

"Cosima," she started, taking a sip from her wine glass, "I...I need to tell you something."

Cosima looked at Delphine curiously, running her finger over the stem of her own glass. "Okay," she replied.

Delphine took a deep breath. "Well, first of all, I want to apologize," she stated, "For how I left things all those years ago."

"Delphine, it's in the past. It was so long ago," Cosima told her.

Delphine held up her hand. "Hold on. Let me finish," she asked of her.

Cosima nodded. "Sorry," she whispered, taking a long sip of her wine.

"I have realized something about myself in the last five years or so...something that took me a long time to come to terms with. And it would maybe provide some reason as to why I acted the way I did back then...not an excuse...but, I'd like to explain," Delphine said, nervously.

Cosima looked into her eyes, seeing the hesitation behind them, even as they looked so beautiful in the dim light of the restaurant. "Okay, Del," she responded softly, wanting to make her feel at ease, "I'm listening."

Delphine took another breath. "I have struggled, for a long time, to admit something to myself. And really, to figure out what it was that I was actually admitting. For a long time, I was suppressing these feelings I had, because I didn't feel it was right for me, or I didn't think my parents would approve, when all the while, I was just suppressing myself...afraid to be who I was," she explained. "And it's only recently, I've begun to understand myself, and have allowed myself to truly be who I am."

Cosima leaned in slightly, listening intently.

"I was confused for a long time because I felt...I felt attraction toward women," she continued, "But I also knew I was attracted to men, so I just thought...I thought it was silly, something I could ignore. I didn't even know there was such a thing as being attracted to men and women, but now...I guess if I had to label myself, I would call myself bisexual, but I didn't even know that could be a thing, when I was younger." She swallowed, fiddling with the edge of her cloth napkin.

Cosima opened her mouth, surprised at the blonde's admission. "Wow, Del, that's quite a thing to realize for yourself," she replied.

Delphine nodded. "Yes, and I know...I know that I've known this all along, but I was so scared and confused when I was younger," she confessed, "And what happened with us...I think, I was not ready, and it made me more confused."

Cosima nodded. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Delphine shook her head. "No, no, Cosima, it is not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. I just...I just wanted you to know because all these years, I've felt...I've felt so terrible about what happened. I knew I hurt you, and I couldn't face you, and honestly, I've never stopped thinking about the way I treated you," she choked, tears forming behind her eyes. "And I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry, Cosima."

Cosima reached her hand out to cover the blonde's. "Hey, it's ok," she soothed. "I'm not gonna lie and say that I wasn't hurt...of course I was...but, Delphine, it sounds like you had a lot to figure out, and I wouldn't have wanted to force you into something that you weren't ready for."

Delphine wiped a few tears from her face with her finger and nodded. "Well," she whispered, "I still want you to know how sorry I am." She swallowed, sniffling back her tears. "I've become much more comfortable with myself recently. I even have dated a few women," she smiled at the brunette through her tears. "I feel like I can be myself now."

"That is wonderful, Del," Cosima beamed, stroking the back of Delphine's hand with her thumb. She looked at the woman in front of her, and despite her teary eyes, Delphine had never looked more beautiful to her. All she wanted to do was reach across that table and caress her cheek, wipe her tears away, but she held herself back. She couldn't let herself do something that could get her hurt again. She was just reconnecting with Delphine, and didn't want to mess it up.

"Oh, I'm such a mess," Delphine chuckled, taking her hand away from Cosima's and wiping under both eyes with her fingertips.

"Del, don't worry about it. Remember how much I've seen you cry?" Cosima teased, trying to make Delphine feel better.

"Oh yes, I remember," Delphine giggled. "We certainly had our fair share of cry-fests together."

"That we did," Cosima agreed. "Can I ask...how'd your parents take it?"

Delphine sighed. "We don't talk much anymore actually," she admitted, "Ever since I broke it off with Mark, we were never as close. I did try to tell my maman about being bisexual, but she just waved it off and told me to never speak of it again. So...needless to say, we don't see things the same."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Del," Cosima replied.

Delphine shrugged. "Well, anyway, Cosima, I...I'm so glad to see you," she smiled.

"Yeah," Cosima nodded, "Me too."

Their food arrived and they dug in, much more at ease with one another, easily falling back into their old ways of hanging out.

"You know," Cosima started, "I think about the day that we met sometimes."

Delphine looked up from her plate, her mouth half full. "You do?"

"Yeah, I mean, if I think about it, that was kind of the day everything changed. You helped me realize who I was, in so many ways. We were so young, Delphine. But you were always there for me, no matter what, when I was figuring out the kind of person I was, who I wanted to be," Cosima explained, "You were there for every important moment. And I think we had such a special friendship."

Delphine grinned wide, her cheeks moving in just the way Cosima remembered.

"My life changed when I met you too," Delphine echoed. "You know, I was such a shy kid with no friends, and you took me under your wing like I was already part of the gang. I was so grateful for you, Cosima."

Cosima felt her lips curl into a smile. "I've seriously missed you, Del," she sighed.

Delphine's heart fluttered as she gazed across the table at the small brunette, wanting to say more, but knowing she needed to take things slow. She did not want to scare her away this time, and she wanted to build back the trust she had broken.

"I've missed you so much, Cosima," Delphine beamed. "You have no idea."

\---


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

_December 2025_

Cosima leaned against the counter, sipping her coffee, lost in thought. She was debating over whether she should invite Delphine to New Years. Sarah and Cal were throwing a party at their house, and a lot of their old friends would be there, so Delphine would probably love to see them. They hadn't spoken since they had dinner last month, which was partly because Cosima was nervous about reconnecting with Delphine.

She knew the feelings for the woman had never really gone away. They had just been shoved aside for all these years. It's not like Cosima hadn't dated anyone else. She just never felt that connection, never felt like she had found someone she wanted to share everything with. She had given up trying to find it, knowing that she wasn't meant to have it.

Delphine's confession had awoken something in her though. She had thought it over again and again. She wasn't about to pour her heart out to Delphine only to be rejected again. Just because she was attracted to women didn't mean she felt the same way about Cosima. She needed to be careful.

Still, Cosima wanted to see her again. She sighed, picking up her phone, telling herself that Delphine would know a lot of people at this party, that she'd want to come for that at least.

"Hello?"

"Del?"

"Cosima," the blonde replied, and Cosima could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

"Hey, yeah, how are you?" Cosima answered.

"Oh, I am well," Delphine responded, sighing. "It has been quite a bit of work getting settled into my new job."

"I bet," Cosima stated. "Well, you deserve a break, eh?"

"Ah, yes, I have had a few days off for the holidays. It has been nice," she told her.

"Cool," Cosima smiled. "Good. Um, well, I don't know if you have any plans for tomorrow night, but Sarah and her husband are having a New Years party at their house. Felix and Scott will be there, along with lots of other folks we used to hang with, back in the day," she chuckled.

"Oh, yeah? Um, I do not have any plans. Didn't really have time to make any," Delphine admitted.

Cosima grinned. "Well, would you like to come with?"

"I would love that, Cosima."

"Awesome," Cosima replied, trying to suppress the giddiness she felt. "I'll text you the address. I'll be there around 9."

"Sounds wonderful."

\---

Delphine arrived at Sarah's house around 9:30, wanting to make sure Cosima was already there when she got there. She was nervous, though she had no reason to be. These were people she had grown up with, but she hadn't seen them in a long time. And though she knew Cosima would never have told them any details, she couldn't help but wonder what they thought of her, having run out of Cosima's life so abruptly all those years ago.

"Delphine!"

The blonde looked up to see a beaming Felix at the door. "Hi, Felix."

"Oh my god, you look gorgeous, darling. Come in, give me a hug," he told her.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his thin frame as she entered the house.

"Look who it is," Sarah exclaimed, walking toward the door. "It's been a while, blondie!"

"It has," Delphine responded, pulling back from Felix to say hello to Sarah.

She followed them into the living room where people were hanging out, talking and drinking. She spotted Cosima immediately, standing in the corner with Scott, and her heart picked up its pace when the brunette's eyes found hers. Delphine smiled and tried to hide the redness she knew was forming on her cheeks.

Cosima grinned wide and excused herself from Scott for a moment, walking up to Delphine.

"Hey," she beamed, opening her arms to pull Delphine in for a hug. _She looks amazing_ , Cosima thought, _though she always looks amazing, so why is it a surprise?_ Every time she saw the blonde she was reminded of her beauty, of the way she made Cosima feel. "I'm so glad you came."

Delphine squeezed Cosima tightly, savoring the feeling of holding the smaller woman for a moment. "Thank you for inviting me, Cosima," she said softly as she pulled back.

"Of course. Come, have a drink with us," Cosima told her as she took her hand and led her over to the group.

Delphine couldn't help but notice how touchy Cosima was being. She always had been, but it felt so nice, their warm fingers intertwined, making Delphine's heart skip a beat.

Delphine tried to focus on what everyone else was saying, as they talked about their jobs, their families (Scott had three kids already), but the blonde found she was distracted. She kept stealing glances at the small brunette, as Cosima laughed and played the center of attention as she always did.

"Del," Cosima whispered as she nudged the blonde's arm with her elbow. "I'm gonna go smoke this. Wanna join?" she asked as she held up a joint.

Delphine nodded as she looked into Cosima's eyes. Her body was buzzing from the alcohol and also the intense high she felt when she was around Cosima. She felt like every little touch was amplified; the sparks ran through her entire body whenever Cosima brushed her skin. She wondered if Cosima was feeling it too.

Cosima led her outside onto the back porch, the night sky cloudless and full of stars. She lit up her cigarette and passed it to Delphine after taking a hit, leaning up against the railing of the porch.

Delphine leaned next to her, letting their arms touch as she stood close.

"Sarah has such a nice house," Delphine stated, inhaling on the joint before passing it back to Cosima.

Cosima nodded, placing her free hand down on the railing between them and leaning into it. She felt nervous again, which was something she was not used to feeling.

Delphine let her hand rest on Cosima's, rubbing gently as she looked at the brunette. Cosima was never this quiet. She was usually yammering on about something.

"Are you ok, Cosima?" she asked, sweetly.

Cosima gave her a half smile and nodded. "I'm just thinking," she replied.

"About what?" Delphine asked, her thumb drawing lazy circles on Cosima's hand.

Cosima took a breath, chuckling a little as she took another puff. "Just about how we're standing here, together, right now," she answered, "I never would've thought we would be. I thought I'd never see you again."

Delphine put her head down and swallowed. "Yeah, that was my fault," she whispered.

Cosima looked at her through her cat-eye glasses and lifted her hand to place it on Delphine's shoulder. "No, no, that's not what I was saying at all," she soothed. "I'm just saying, it's nice...it's really nice, to...to have you back in my life again," she told her, the truthful words coming out.

Delphine lifted her head again to look Cosima in the eye. Her lips curled into a smile and Cosima giggled. Delphine's heart was racing, her mind trying to figure out the right thing to say, the want, the need for Cosima to know how she felt gnawing at her. She wanted to make everything right. She wanted to tell her everything.

"Cosima...I—"

"One minute till midnight!"

Delphine jumped as she heard Felix yell. He stumbled out onto the porch, followed by the whole gang.

"We can see the fireworks from here," Sarah noted as they all piled out the door.

Delphine's heart was racing, worse than before, and she tried to soothe her nerves, giving a slight chuckle while Cosima grinned at her.

"10, 9, 8…" Everyone began to count down as the clocked ticked to midnight.

"Happy New Year!" Felix yelled as the fireworks began.

Delphine linked her fingers together with Cosima's and squeezed. "Happy New Year, Cosima," she whispered, leaning in toward the brunette's ear.

Cosima felt a buzz through her body, perhaps from the alcohol, perhaps from the pot, but she knew, without a doubt, it was partly, or mostly, due to Delphine's presence so close to her. She turned her lips toward the blonde to give her a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Happy New Year, Delphine," she stated in barely a whisper.

Delphine pulled back slightly, just far enough so she could look into Cosima's eyes, their faces dangerously close. Delphine let out a shaky breath as she brought her hand up to Cosima's cheek. She couldn't stop herself now. With an almost uncontrollable magnetic pull, she brought her lips in to touch Cosima's, to brush against them gently before pressing herself completely into the woman, the electricity pulsing through her body as they kissed.

Cosima saw it coming and let it happen, her body melting completely as she felt the softness of Delphine's lips on hers. Her heart thudded hard inside her chest and she forgot everything. For that one moment, it was just her, and Delphine. Nothing else mattered.

Until her mind caught up with her body.

Cosima pulled back, out of breath, her head spinning. "Wait," she croaked, barely able to speak.

Delphine gulped and looked at her. "Did I...did I make a huge mistake?" she muttered, nervously.

Cosima looked into her eyes. "No, no...god, no...Delphine, I just," she stumbled, "I can't...we need to talk about this...after last time...I...we need to talk about it when we're sober," she rambled and leaned back on the railing. "I can't...do this and...have you leave again," she confessed quietly, a sad look in her eye.

Delphine felt tears coming up behind her eyes but she held them back. She knew how badly she had hurt her best friend before, but she was only just realizing that Cosima might still be holding onto that hurt, even a little bit, and that she was scared to feel it again.

Delphine nodded. "Okay," she whispered, "I understand." Her body was still buzzing from the amazing kiss they had just shared and she wanted so badly to hold Cosima close.

"Oi, you two," Felix yelled, "Come have a toast with us. To the new year…"

Cosima pushed herself off the railing and walked toward Felix, grabbing a drink and raising it in the air. "To all of you...to old friends," she stated.

Delphine followed her, unable to make total sense of what had just happened, but she grabbed a drink anyway. "To reconnecting with all of you," she toasted, looking around the circle, her eyes settling at last on Cosima as she took a drink.

Cosima's head was swimming from the alcohol and the weed, but at that moment, she knew. She knew she was still totally, completely, hopelessly, in love, with Delphine Cormier.

\---


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all - Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you feel this chapter was worth the wait. :)

_January 2026_

Delphine woke up the next day, her head pounding, her mind racing with thoughts from the night before. It was all a little fuzzy in her mind and she wasn't quite sure how to make sense of everything. Once she got herself up and showered, with a good meal in her stomach, she felt somewhat better, able to think a little more clearly. She knew she needed to talk to Cosima. It was time to put it all out there, to tell her everything. It had been too many years. She had done too much work to get to this point to chicken out now.

She picked up her phone and dialed.

Cosima was definitely hungover from the night before and she groaned as she heard her phone buzz next to her on the nightstand. _What time was it?_

She reached over, barely opening her eyes, not able to see who it was without her glasses. "Hello?" she croaked.

"Cosima, hi, hello, um, oh, I'm sorry...did I...did I wake you?"

Cosima's eyes shot open when she heard who it was. "Oh, Del, um, no, no," she replied, "Um, it's ok, no problem...uh...what time is it?"

Delphine smiled to herself, a rush of adoration for the woman on the other end running through her body. She wished she could be there right now, holding her in her arms. She'd let Cosima sleep as long as she wanted, as long as she could lay close to her. "It's 1:00," she told Cosima with a small chuckle.

"Oh, jeez," Cosima answered, sitting up slowly.

"You sound like you need some coffee, and a good breakfast," Delphine informed her, wanting so badly to go over there and take care of her.

"Uh, yeah," Cosima laughed, "That sounds amazing right now."

_Just be bold_ , Delphine thought. "I could come over and...cook you breakfast?" she asked, biting her lip, wondering if it would be ok after what happened the night before.

Cosima felt a jolt of excitement rush through her body and she smiled. "You want to make me breakfast?" she asked, her heart pounding.

Delphine couldn't suppress the grin that was plastered on her face and she knew the brunette could hear it in her voice. "Yes...if that would be ok with you," she responded, quietly.

"Yeah," Cosima said with a chuckle, "That would be ok with me."

\---

Cosima had showered and gotten herself at least partly presentable by the time Delphine showed up. She opened the door, beaming at the blonde.

"Good morning," Cosima smiled.

"Morning? You do realize it's almost 2:30 in the afternoon, right?" Delphine teased as she walked inside, placing the fresh fruit and eggs she brought on the table.

Cosima chuckled and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," she joked as she waved her hand. "I made coffee," she stated with a smile, holding her mug up.

"Sit down," Delphine ordered, already starting to whip up a batch of eggs.

"What?" Cosima asked, enjoying watching the blonde flit around her kitchen.

"I said sit down," Delphine repeated, "I am making you breakfast."

"Oh," Cosima replied, unable to suppress a giggle as she felt the giddy, warm feeling run through her. "Bossy," she teased, before going to sit on the sofa.

Delphine continued her cooking, laying out the fruit on two plates.

"I could get used to this," Cosima smirked from the couch, sipping her coffee.

Delphine's back was to Cosima as she stood over the frying pan but her lips curled into a smile as she looked down, knowing her cheeks were a dark red, her heart pounding in her chest.

She finished the eggs and brought the plates over. They ate together and Delphine cleaned up as Cosima leaned back on the couch.

"Mmm, thank you," she told her, full and happy. This domesticity was making her happier than she thought she should be at the moment.

"You are welcome," Delphine answered. She came back and sat on the couch facing Cosima, her heart racing, her nerves through the roof with what she wanted to say to the brunette.

Cosima could sense the shift in her body language and she looked at her, concerned. "You ok?" she asked.

"Cosima, I...I may have had an ulterior motive to coming here," Delphine confessed, "I wanted to talk...after last night."

Cosima nodded and gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I figured as much. It's a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure we kissed," she teased.

Delphine grinned as a redness crept up her cheeks. "Yes, we definitely did," she replied.

Cosima took a deep breath and met Delphine's eye, feeling a nervous excitement shoot through her.

Delphine inhaled deeply, gathering her courage. She needed to do it. "Cosima," she started, "I told you I did a lot of soul searching these past years, and realized a lot of things about myself."

"Mmhm," Cosima nodded, watching her intently.

"Well, I only told you part of what I realized about myself," Delphine stated, sitting up, trying to let her posture convey the confidence she had gathered over the years.

"Okay," Cosima replied, urging her to continue as she sat forward on the couch.

"I...I realized that…that I was in love with you," Delphine revealed, looking up into Cosima's eyes as she spoke.

Cosima's heart skipped a beat and she swallowed. "Was?" she asked, tentatively.

"Am," Delphine answered right away, "I am."

Cosima looked at her, stunned, processing the words that had just come out of her mouth. She lost her own words for a moment.

Delphine stared back, unsure of the thoughts that were running through the brunette's mind. "I know, I know this is a lot. I just dropped this all on you...and I just came back into your life...and I know the last time, all those years ago, I left you, and I hurt you and I don't want it to be like that, because I would never leave you again...if you wanted me. I—"

"Shut up," Cosima stated before giggling, the words coming out more forceful than she intended.

Delphine looked at her, confused.

Cosima leaned forward as they both perched on the edge of the sofa and slowly brought her hands to cup Delphine's cheeks, her lips inching closer to the blonde's face. "Just shut up and let me kiss you," she whispered.

Delphine didn't say another word as Cosima pressed forward, her lips meeting Delphine's. She let herself linger there for a moment, closing her eyes, letting the sensations wash over her. As she brought her hand to the back of Delphine's neck she felt the blonde's body relax into the touch, urgently returning her kiss.

Delphine let out a small whimper, one of happiness and relief, and Cosima broke the kiss to look her in the eye, keeping her lips close. "Del," she whispered, "I love you. I love you so fucking much. I have for so long."

Delphine inhaled sharply and let out a sigh, smiling and closing her eyes for a moment. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes and she swallowed, the emotions taking her over.

"Hey," Cosima whispered, kissing her cheek, her hands still holding the sides of Delphine's head.

Delphine opened her watery eyes to look at Cosima and moved her hand to grip the brunette's elbow.

"What are you thinking?" Cosima asked.

Delphine grinned and chuckled. "That I'm happy," she choked.

Cosima smiled, gazing at the beautiful woman in front of her, the joy running through her own body. "Me too," she whispered before bringing her lips back to Delphine's.

It was softer this time, gentler. It lacked urgency as neither woman wanted to rush this. They had both waited so long, and now, to be able to have each other, they wanted to savor every moment.

Cosima's lips brushed against Delphine's bottom lip, feeling the softness overwhelm her as she let out a small moan. Her hand went to the back of Delphine's neck, burying her fingers into the woman's hair and pulling gently.

Delphine let her hands fall to Cosima's waist as she tried to pull her closer, their position on the couch making it difficult to get as close as she wanted.

Cosima felt Delphine's fingers grasping at her sides, and pressed forward, guiding Delphine to lay on the couch as she got on top, their lips only leaving each other's for a moment as they situated themselves.

Delphine felt Cosima's weight on top of hers and she sighed, wrapping her arms completely around the smaller woman as Cosima broke the kiss to rest her head on Delphine's shoulder, her face buried in the blonde's neck. She inhaled deeply, savoring the amazing way Delphine smelled. She could remember this was the way she had smelled even when they were younger, when Delphine would spend the night. Cosima's pillow would always smell like it the next day, and she smiled and closed her eyes for a moment, letting the memory wash over her.

Delphine ran her fingertips over Cosima's back, slowly pulling her shirt up to feel the bare skin of her lower back. Cosima gasped at the feel of Delphine's hands on her back and she got goosebumps as a shiver ran through her. She opened her eyes and let her lips lay a few gentle kisses on Delphine's neck.

Delphine hummed and pressed her head back, allowing Cosima greater access to the soft skin. Her mouth opened as she let out a shaky breath.

Cosima kissed up her neck and jawline, letting her hand cup Delphine's cheek as she positioned herself on top of her again, looking into her eyes.

"I want to love you like you deserve," Cosima whispered, "Like no one's ever loved you."

Delphine trapped her bottom lip under her teeth before surging forward to kiss Cosima, her hand pressing to the back of her dreads and pulling her in. Cosima happily opened her mouth, her tongue coming out to meet Delphine's, their breath mingling as their kisses grew more persistent.

Cosima still couldn't believe this was happening. She knew it was different this time; Delphine had confessed her love for her. She let that feeling surge through her as she pressed her hips into Delphine's, the blonde's hands pulling her impossibly close. Cosima was losing herself in the feeling, and in the little whimpers that were coming out of Delphine's mouth. After all this time, she was finally able to express the love she had held in for so long.

Delphine's noises urged Cosima to take control, as the brunette slid her thigh between Delphine's legs, craving to be closer, to feel her against her.

Delphine moaned as Cosima pressed into her, deepening the kiss further, until she was practically dizzy. She pressed Cosima back for a moment, gripping the sides of her face. "Can we move to your bed?" she asked, breathlessly.

Cosima nodded, her eyes dark with desire as she reluctantly broke contact for a moment, grabbing Delphine's hand and leading her to her bedroom.

Once inside, Cosima turned back to Delphine, their new standing position allowing her to move her body in, pressing her entire length to Delphine as she brought their lips together once again. She tugged at Delphine's shirt, increasingly aware of the amount of fabric between them. Delphine broke the kiss to remove her shirt swiftly in one motion and Cosima followed suit.

They stood there, staring at each other's naked torsos. It's not like they hadn't seen each other in their bras before, they certainly had, but this was different. They were seeing each other for the first time, in a way they were finally allowed to.

Cosima stepped forward, placing her flat palms on Delphine's stomach, sending a shiver through the blonde's body. "You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen," she cooed.

Delphine smiled and brought her hands to cup Cosima's cheeks, searching her eyes like she was trying to find the source of the connection she felt. She pulled her up into a searing kiss, their mouths mingling as their bare torsos pressed together.

Cosima moaned, wrapping her arms completely around Delphine's waist as she started kissing down the blonde's jawline to her neck. She wanted to explore every inch of the woman she loved so much. The softness of Delphine's skin underneath her lips was almost unbearable; she could fall into it and lose herself completely. Her fingers moved up Delphine's back slowly, finding her bra clasp. She looked up at the taller woman, asking permission with her eyes and when Delphine nodded, she undid it, letting the fabric fall to the ground. She removed her own bra, and the two women again took their time in revelling in one another.

Delphine brought her hand up, her fingertips gently grazing over Cosima's collarbone before pressing her hand flat on the brunette's chest. Her eyes flickered up and down and her gaze grew hungry as her hands moved to Cosima's hips, quickly tugging her close. Her mouth went to the brunette's ear and she nibbled on her earlobe gently before whispering, "I want you."

With those three words, Cosima became increasingly aware of the heat between her own legs. She pushed Delphine back into the bed, climbing on top of her and straddling her waist. She took the blonde's wrists and pressed them into the bed above her head, leaning over, their breasts touching, as she kissed her deeply.

Delphine groaned as her hips immediately started moving up to grind into the woman above her. She didn't think she had ever been so turned on in her life. The combination of that and being able to touch someone she had such a deep connection with was overwhelming her senses. She could barely control her movements as she tried to pull Cosima closer.

Delphine panted heavily as she broke their kiss for a moment, only so she could make her needs known. "Cosima…" she breathed, "Please, I need you closer." She moved her hands between them to try to undo her own pants.

Cosima got her intentions and sat up, helping Delphine and pulling the blonde's pants completely off. She got up to throw her own on the floor and Delphine slid her underwear off too, wanting every bit of skin contact she could. Cosima quickly did the same, climbing back on top, the two women moaning at the sensation of being completely skin on skin.

Cosima ground her hips into the woman underneath her before letting her thigh slip in between, feeling Delphine's wet heat and almost losing her mind.

Delphine let out a gasp as she felt the pressure between her legs and she whispered, her voice full of need, "Cosima…"

Cosima kissed up Delphine's neck to the softest skin she could find just under her ear. "Don't worry," she whispered, "I'm going to take care of you, baby."

Delphine inhaled sharply at Cosima's words as her hands ran down Cosima's back, going to grip at her ass. She felt like she could never be close enough.

Cosima began to kiss down Delphine's body, nipping lightly at her collarbone and exploring her breasts, while the blonde writhed underneath her. Cosima felt as though Delphine deserved to be worshipped. She was a goddess in Cosima's mind and she wanted to show her how much she loved her with every kiss. She moved down to her stomach, kissing over the light muscles, seeing them flicker under her touch. Cosima tried to stay focused, her mind overtaken by the multitude of sensations she was feeling. She grazed Delphine's hipbones with her teeth, moaning as she let her tongue dart out for a taste.

Delphine's head was swimming, every nerve ending in her body sensitive as she felt Cosima's hot mouth everywhere. She reached down finally to grip Cosima's head, pulling her face up to look at her. "Come back up here," she pleaded. "I need to feel you."

Cosima obliged, letting the lengths of their bodies touch again as she moved over the woman. Her hand moved its way down slowly over warm skin as she kissed Delphine's lips again.

Delphine felt Cosima moving lower and she nodded, urging her to touch her.

The moment Cosima found the slick skin, both women moaned in unison. Cosima didn't think anyone could ever feel this good. She moved slowly at first, finally pressing into Delphine's body when the blonde looked at her with pleading eyes.

Their bodies moved together as one, Cosima never breaking eye contact as Delphine breathed heavily, her mouth slightly open, her eyelids heavy. Delphine whimpered as Cosima moved within her, her mind focused only on her fingers and on the way she was looking at her, with so much love.

Delphine's hands gripped at Cosima's back as as her movements became more frantic, her hips bucking erratically as she felt the pleasure wash over her. She looked into Cosima's eyes as her body reached its peak. She moaned loudly, her nails digging into Cosima's skin. She felt the tears rush immediately to her eyes as she came down from her orgasm, the intensity almost too much, so happy and grateful to have Cosima in her arms.

Cosima smiled at her and kissed her a few times on the cheek, bringing her hand up to brush away the tears with her thumb. "You ok?" she whispered.

Delphine nodded, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Hey," Cosima soothed, "I love you." She brushed Delphine's nose with her own, causing the blonde to open her eyes and smile.

Delphine bit her lip and pushed up, flipping them so she was on top. She brought her mouth to Cosima's ear, kissing just under it. "You make me feel so good," she whispered, "Now I want you to relax and let me take care of you."

Cosima moaned as she felt Delphine's lips on her neck. She had dreamed of this moment, fantasized about it, but it was so much better in real life.

Delphine's hands moved down to cup the brunette's breast, her thumb grazing over her nipple, eliciting a sharp gasp from the woman underneath her. Cosima brought her hands up to grip Delphine's face, pulling her in for a bruising kiss. The desire pulsed through her as she pressed her hips up.

"Oh god, Delphine," she panted, pulling away from the kiss, but keeping her lips close.

Delphine heard the desire in her voice and moved her hand lower, teasing her body and moaning at the feeling of the woman writhing underneath her. "You are so perfect," she whispered.

"Please," Cosima whimpered, her heart pounding in anticipation, her body aching to be filled.

When Delphine moved down and pressed into her warmth, Cosima almost lost her mind. Her eyes rolled back in her head at the sensation and she felt the surge through every limb in her body. Her breath came out shaky as she relaxed into the touch, letting Delphine take complete control.

Delphine kissed down Cosima's neck as she moved against her, letting her teeth bite gently at the tender skin. Cosima groaned at the feeling, her hands running all over the blonde's back. Her breathing grew erratic as her heart rate soared, and Delphine could feel that she was close. She put pressure on Cosima's most sensitive skin and whispered in her ear, "This is all I ever want. You, just you."

"Oh," Cosima breathed as she felt herself approach the edge, Delphine's fingers relentless on her. When she finally came, her body covered in a sheen of sweat, she let out a groan from deep within her throat, her toes curling, her thoughts fuzzy. She closed her eyes as the aftershocks hit her, one after the other, her body jolting in pleasure.

The next thing she knew, Delphine's lips were on hers and she kept her eyes closed, moaning at the softness, breathing heavily into the blonde's mouth. Delphine kissed her for a moment before laying her head down on Cosima's chest, and planting a kiss on her neck.

"Wow," Cosima whispered after a few minutes of silence.

Delphine smiled and hummed.

Cosima kissed Delphine's forehead before looking down at her. "Del, I think that's the first time I've ever made love...like really made love," she told her, "It's...it's never felt like that."

Delphine closed her eyes and let the words sink in. "I know what you mean," she whispered.

"Yeah?" Cosima asked.

Delphine rolled slightly off of Cosima so she could prop her head up with her elbow and look at her. "I don't think I've ever really loved someone the way I've loved you."

Cosima grinned, her heart fluttering. "Never?"

Delphine shook her head. "Not even Mark, and I married him. I mean, I loved him...but I wasn't in love with him...not in the same way."

"Delphine," Cosima stated, "I'm pretty sure my heart has belonged to you since I was like 16."

Delphine looked down for a moment. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it," she said softly.

Cosima rolled over onto her side, getting in close to the blonde. She put her hand to Delphine's cheek and looked her in the eye. "None of that matters now, Del. You're here. We're together," she told her.

Delphine nodded, swallowing back the tears she knew were forming in her eyes. Cosima leaned forward, laying a sweet kiss on her lips.

She backed up and giggled. "You know, I think you did this backwards," she teased. "You're supposed to sleep with me, then make me breakfast."

Delphine chuckled. "Oh, nothing has changed after all these years, I see. You're still a cheeky brat."

Cosima shrugged and laughed. "Maybe I am. But you love me," she teased, before taking a more serious tone. "You love me," she whispered, letting the true weight of those words settle in.

Delphine nodded and kissed her one more time. Her mind felt at peace for the first time in a long time. After so many years of figuring out who she was, after she had repressed so much, this just felt so _right_.

Delphine laid on her back, pulling Cosima to lay on her chest, taking her arm across her torso. She looked at the brunette's dandelion tattoo and ran her fingers over it. "You never told me why you got this one," she said.

"Oh," Cosima replied, "Well, funny story...I kind of got it for you...well, not for you, but it involves you."

"Oh yeah?" Delphine asked, curious.

Cosima chuckled slightly. "Well, I actually got it the day you got married to Mark. It was, um, my way of letting you go," she explained. "It didn't really work."

"Oh, I see," Delphine responded, her mind spinning, thinking about how long the two of them had truly been pining for each other.

"Yeah, doesn't really mean anything now, right?" Cosima joked.

Delphine thought for a moment. "Well, it can still represent letting go. Perhaps it is letting go of something else, for both of us. For me, it is letting go of fear...the fear of disappointing my parents, the fear of not being good enough, sacrificing who I really am for those things. That's what I've realized over the years. I was scared...so scared...to be who I was," she confessed. "But I've let go of that fear," she told her, stroking Cosima's head lovingly, "And for you, I think perhaps you were still afraid of letting me in again, because of what happened last time."

Cosima sighed, lifting her head up and nodding. "Yeah, I...I'll admit to that," she whispered.

"So maybe it can represent you letting go of that fear," Delphine explained, "Because this is the only place I want to be, and I'm not going anywhere."

Cosima smiled and rested her head once again on Delphine's chest. "I like that," she agreed, "I like that a lot."

The two women laid in each other's arms, thinking of all the things they were finally able to say to each other, finally able to express. Neither of them had ever felt so safe in their entire lives.

\---


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Thanks so much for sticking with me for this fic. This was my longest and I'm probably the most proud of this one. I so appreciate all the comments and feedback and love I got from all of you.
> 
> I think I'm going to be taking a break from writing Cophine fic. Not sure if I'll ever return (perhaps when the season starts I'll be inspired), but we'll see. I've been writing nonstop since July of last year, so I have quite a few works if you want to check out my other stuff. 
> 
> Thanks again. Enjoy this last chapter.

_March 2026_

Delphine woke up early, alone in her own apartment. She stretched out, knowing she needed to get up. She had an early meeting today and could not be late. She got up and sauntered into the kitchen to make coffee. She looked over at the clock, chuckling to herself as she saw it was only 6:15. She thought about Cosima and how she would never be seen at this hour of the day. She could hear her voice in her head... _That's why I'm a professor, and all my classes are in the afternoon, Del_.

As she prepared her breakfast, she thought about the brunette, and about the last few months. She'd never been so happy in her life. Cosima was something special, and she found her head floating in the clouds whenever she thought about her. She was always on her mind. She had been for years, but now, the connection they shared was deeper, stronger. It felt amazing.

They spent most nights together, but when Delphine needed to get up early, she didn't want to bother Cosima, so they would spend the time apart. Waking up without her always felt weird after spending so much time together. She found herself reaching over in the morning to feel the empty side of the bed before she even opened her eyes, always forgetting for a moment that Cosima wasn't there and pouting to herself.

She felt like a teenager again. She was almost 40, yet Cosima made her feel like this was her first love. In a way, it was.

She wanted to wish Cosima a good morning, but she knew if she called her now, the brunette would never let her forget it, so she scarfed down her breakfast and jumped in the shower.

When she got out, she found she had a text message.

_Got up to pee. I know you're up. I miss you in my bed._

Delphine grinned and felt a warmth run through her body. She texted back.

_I miss you too. Good morning, mon amour._

Delphine got dressed quickly as Cosima answered.

_Skip work. Come cuddle with me. I'm cold._

She chuckled to herself as she responded.

_I wish I could. I'll see you later._

She didn't receive a response and shook her head, knowing Cosima had fallen back to sleep already. She felt a lightness in her heart as she ran out the door.

\---

_April 2026_

Cosima woke up, opening her eyes to blonde curls, Delphine lying on her stomach, her arms above her head under the pillow, facing away from her. She smiled as she moved in closer, throwing her arm and leg over her girlfriend, her hips shifting half on top of the taller woman's body.

"Mmm," Delphine hummed as Cosima gripped her tightly.

"Sorry," Cosima whispered, "Didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to hold you." She loved the idea of Delphine being the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes in the morning. It was the most wonderful feeling.

"It's ok," the blonde mumbled, her eyes still closed. "I'm surprised you woke up before me," she joked.

"Yeah, me too," Cosima chuckled, laying a gentle kiss to Delphine's bare back.

Delphine sighed and rolled over within Cosima's embrace, her hands moving to the brunette's hips and tugged her closer. "Morning," she breathed before pressing her lips to Cosima's in a short, sweet kiss.

Cosima smiled. "Hey, would you want to go have a picnic today? Go to the Golden Gate Bridge? Like we used to?" she asked, rubbing lovingly down Delphine's arm.

"You want to go back there?" Delphine replied.

"Well, I remember how much you used to love it. I think our first summer, we went there like 12 times," Cosima laughed. "And it's supposed to be really nice today. I thought we could relax together."

Delphine grinned, her sleepy eyes full of love for the woman in front of her. "That sounds wonderful."

\---

They picked up food on the way and laid out a blanket when they got to the park, sitting down and looking out onto the bridge in front of them. It was a beautiful day, barely any clouds in the sky and the two women sat next to each other and ate.

Once they finished, Cosima laid back on the blanket, propping herself up with her elbows underneath her. She reached out for Delphine, who was sitting cross legged next to her, looking out at the bridge. "Hey, Del," she whispered.

"Hmm," Delphine hummed as she looked down toward the grinning brunette.

Cosima squeezed her side. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Oh, just how peaceful it is here. I think this is the first place I realized that I belong here," she told her, "When we would come, you made me feel like I belonged."

Cosima sat up and wrapped her arms around Delphine's torso, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She brought her hand up to Delphine's chin and brought her face toward her. "Hey," she started, "I've been thinking."

"Uh oh," Delphine chuckled, placing her hand on Cosima's knee. "About?"

Cosima smirked, trying to hide her nerves. "Del, um, so like, when I woke up this morning, and I saw you, I got this feeling, like this really giddy feeling in my stomach, and I realized something," she explained, "I realized I want to wake up next to you _every_ morning, not just some mornings. And like, I want to find your hair in everything...well I already do...but anyway...I want your stuff everywhere so even when you're not home I can be around it and know you'll come home soon, to our home, and I want my apartment to smell like you...well, our apartment...and um, I guess that was a really long way of me asking you—"

"Yes," Delphine interjected, giggling at Cosima's rambling.

"I didn't ask you anything yet!" Cosima laughed.

"Well, sometimes I can't wait for you to finish one of your long rants, and I just need to speak up," Delphine smiled, pulling at Cosima's sides. "But go ahead, ask me."

Cosima grinned. "Del, move in with me?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

Delphine leaned in, brushing her lips against Cosima's, excitement running through her body. "Yes," she breathed before pressing her lips into the brunette's.

Cosima returned the kiss and couldn't help her lips from curling up into a smile. She pulled back. "Fuck, I love you so much," she stated.

Delphine giggled and shook her head. "You and your dirty mouth."

"You love my dirty mouth," Cosima teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

"So fucking cheeky," Delphine joked.

Cosima gasped, pretending to be offended. "You're stuck with me now...for real. Once you move in with me, that's it. I hope you're prepared."

"Oh, I am prepared, chérie," Delphine replied, "Prepared to wake you up to exercise with me every day at 6am, and make sure you are eating healthy...no more Eskimo Pies."

Cosima frowned. "Ok, maybe I should rethink this," she joked. "Unless your version of exercise and eating healthy is insinuating something else that I might like more," she winked.

Delphine laughed, pulling her into a hug, resting Cosima's head on her chest. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me?"

Delphine sighed. "Always."

\---

_June 2026_

"You almost ready?"

Cosima leaned over the sink, applying her makeup. "Mhmm, one sec," she replied.

"We don't want to be late," Delphine told her.

Cosima put the cap back on her eyeliner and came out of the bathroom. "All set," she smiled, looking over her girlfriend. "Del, you look amazing," she told her, eyeing her curves in her tight black dress.

"You do too," Delphine echoed, moving in to squeeze gently at Cosima's hips under her form fitting red dress.

"Come on," Cosima said, "Scotty is waiting."

It was Scott's 40th birthday and his wife was throwing him a huge bash. They arrived at the venue, strolling inside to see plenty of tables and chairs along with a substantial dance floor and a DJ. The party was catered and they were immediately given glasses of wine by one of the waiters as they walked in.

"Holy shit, this is fancy," Cosima exclaimed.

Delphine leaned in to Cosima's ear. "Well, when you are one of the top scientists in your field and are responsible for many scientific breakthroughs, you tend to get paid quite well," she told her, chuckling.

They mingled, wishing Scott a happy birthday and saying hello to their other friends before sitting down as dinner was served. Sarah and Cal were there, along with Felix, who brought his new boyfriend, Colin. They chatted and enjoyed each other's company before the DJ turned up the music and most of their table got up to dance.

Cosima stood up, reaching her hand out to Delphine. "Dr. Cormier," she propositioned, "Come dance with me."

"No, no, Cosima," Delphine whined.

"Yes, yes, come on," Cosima told her, grabbing her hand and pulling her up.

Delphine allowed herself to be pulled up and dragged to the dance floor, Cosima pulling Delphine's arms around her waist as she threw her own arms up around the taller woman's neck.

Cosima leaned closer as they swayed together. "You are so gorgeous," she whispered, "I'm pretty sure everyone in this room is jealous of me for being able to dance with you."

Delphine chuckled and blushed, her hands pressing into Cosima's lower back. She looked down into Cosima's gaze, feeling butterflies in her stomach. She still felt like it was the first time Cosima had looked at her like that.

"Holy shit," Delphine heard someone say. She looked to her right, seeing Paul standing there, a tray in his hand, dressed in a catering outfit. Both women saw him as he came closer. "Delphine Cormier? And Cosima? Damn."

Delphine pulled back from Cosima for a moment, flashing her most polite smile. "Paul," she stated.

"Wow," he replied, looking her up and down.

Cosima did not like the way he was eyeing her and felt herself starting to get defensive. Delphine could feel the change in the brunette's body language and she squeezed her hand.

"You work here?" Delphine asked, trying her best to have a civilized conversation.

"Oh, my dad owns this catering company. I usually don't work as a waiter anymore. I'm management, you know, but I had to fill in at the last minute," he explained in a cocky way, "I'm going to own this company one day."

"Good for you," Delphine answered.

Paul nodded, looking between Delphine and Cosima. "Never would've pegged you for a lesbian, Delphine," he chuckled.

Delphine clenched her jaw. "Well, I'm not a lesbian. I'm bisexual, not that I really need to explain myself to you," she stated, firmly.

Paul leaned in, like they were old friends just shooting the shit, and nudged her arm with his elbow. "Oh, does that mean you'd do it with a guy and a girl at the same time? Is that what you guys are looking for? Because I'm totally in."

Cosima couldn't keep to herself anymore. She stepped forward, putting herself in between Paul and Delphine. "Alrighty Paul, I think you've established your ignorance perfectly well. You should probably be going now," she told him with a fake smile.

Paul looked offended, thinking what he said was just fine. "What? It's a perfectly valid question. She's bi, isn't she?"

Cosima's rage bubbled up and she took another step toward him, the size difference between them almost laughable, but she didn't care. "Ok, you really want to get into this now, don't you?" she spat, getting into his face. "This isn't about you and your dick. Bisexual women don't exist just so you can sleep with two women at once. And no, we don't want you to watch. No, we don't want you anywhere near us. We're perfectly satisfied in a way I'm sure no girl has ever been with you."

Paul's mouth fell open. "Jeez, you're a jerk!" he responded.

"I'm the jerk? Why don't you go back to your job before I report you to daddy?" Cosima fumed.

"Whatever," Paul muttered and walked away.

Cosima stared as she watched him, her mind coming back to reality as she turned around to look at Delphine.

Delphine's mouth was open as well, a stunned look on her face.

"Ugh, men like that infuriate me," she huffed before stepping close to Delphine and looking up at her. She took her hands in hers. "Sorry, was that too much?"

Delphine shook her head and smirked, leaning in toward Cosima's ear. "No, it was sexy. I like when you defend me like that. Can I take you home and show you my gratitude?"

Cosima felt a shiver run down her spine as she bit her lip. "Uh, yeah you can."

\---

As soon as they walked into the apartment, Delphine closed the door and grabbed Cosima's hips, pushing her forcefully against the wall and pressing the length of her body against the smaller woman as she kissed her. Cosima felt a surge of desire run through her as she fervently returned the kiss, loving that Delphine was taking control.

Cosima tried to move her hands to Delphine's back but the blonde was faster and gripped Cosima's wrists, bringing her hands above her head against the wall, leaving her open and vulnerable. Cosima moaned as Delphine bit down on her neck before bringing her mouth to the brunette's ear.

"You look so fucking sexy in that dress," Delphine breathed, "I've wanted to fuck you all night."

"Holy shit," Cosima groaned, Delphine's boldness making her knees give out. Over the past few months, Delphine had become more and more daring, and Cosima especially loved when she talked dirty to her.

Cosima tried to move her hands, but Delphine had her in an iron grip. "Ah, ah," the blonde teased, "You're mine." She tried to press her thigh in between Cosima's legs but her dress was too tight to get where she wanted to.

Cosima moaned, pressing herself forward as Delphine chuckled. "I guess we're going to have to do something about this dress," she groaned. She pulled Cosima's hands away from the wall and led her to the bedroom.

Once they got to the room, Delphine unzipped Cosima's dress, undoing her own and slipping both off, leaving the two women in only their underwear.

Cosima stepped toward Delphine, trying to pull her close, but Delphine pushed her back onto the bed, climbing on top immediately and attacking her lips. She reached her hand down to graze over Cosima's underwear, feeling her wetness through the fabric.

Cosima gasped, shivers running through her as her hips bucked up involuntarily.

Delphine took her hand away and Cosima whimpered. She began kissing down her body roughly, sucking on her skin in all the places she knew Cosima loved. She moved lower, pulling Cosima's underwear off before coming back up to suck at her pulse point, her finger moving to run up through her wetness.

"Fuck, Delphine," Cosima panted, opening her legs wider.

"That's right. I'm going to eat you until you come in my mouth," Delphine whispered in her ear.

"Oh my god," Cosima moaned, as she felt her desire grow. "Jesus, Del."

Delphine moved lower, situating herself between Cosima's legs and pressing her mouth to her core, lightly at first, flicking and teasing, listening to the brunette's reactions.

Cosima felt the pleasure radiate as she threw her head back, letting out a series of moans and whimpers. She bent her knees, letting them fall open, as she tangled her hand in Delphine's curls, urging her on. Delphine's hot, wet mouth was making her feel incredible.

Delphine stuck to her motions, letting Cosima's hips dictate the intensity of the pressure as she enveloped Cosima's clit in her mouth. The moment she heard Cosima's breathing pick up, she inserted her finger, thrusting mercilessly as she knew the brunette was close.

"Ungg...ohhh," Cosima moaned loudly, her mind only focused on Delphine's skillful tongue and nimble fingers. "I'm close...oh god," she breathed.

Delphine kept up her rhythm until Cosima broke, grunting and panting, her hand digging into Delphine's head as her hips jolted into the blonde's face.

Cosima tugged at Delphine's head, jerking her hips away as her body got too sensitive and Delphine let out a small gasp at her hair being pulled.

"Oh, shit...fuck," Cosima panted, "Shit, sorry, did I hurt you?"

Delphine looked up at her. "No, no it's ok," she chuckled, as she pulled out, coming back up to Cosima's face. "I love making you come," she whispered before kissing her, Cosima tasting herself on Delphine's lips and moaning.

Cosima pulled back, catching her breath, her body in a blissful state. "Ok, if you talk to me like that when you fuck me," she breathed, "Well...fuck…" She wrapped her arms around Delphine and pressed close to her, unable to come up with any words to describe her feelings.

Delphine giggled and kissed her cheek before laying her head down on her shoulder. "Good?"

"Fuck yeah," Cosima answered.

"My goodness, you become such a potty mouth when my fingers are inside you," Delphine teased.

Cosima laughed. "Is this what I get when I stand up for you? Because if so, I'll definitely do it more often."

"Well, it didn't hurt," she smiled, "It was hot, you getting all defensive."

"I'm guessing you may need some attention then," Cosima smirked, moving her hand slowly down between them, her fingers grazing Delphine's stomach on the way down before she reached her destination. She found slick folds and moaned. "Fuuuuck, Del, you're so wet."

"I am aching for you," Delphine whispered.

Cosima didn't wait any longer. She got a surge of energy, flipping them over so she was on top, pulling off Delphine's panties and letting her fingers glide over the wet skin as the blonde groaned underneath her.

"Yes," Delphine panted, "Please."

"Tell me exactly what you want," Cosima whispered, nibbling on her earlobe.

"I want to feel you inside," Delphine pleaded, "I need you to fuck me."

Cosima knew her girlfriend was more than ready for her as she thrust a finger in, adding a second one after a moment, causing Delphine's hips to jolt up and a series of whimpers to come out of her mouth. Cosima laid her torso on top of the blonde's as she fucked her, giving her as much skin contact as possible. Delphine gripped at her back, digging her fingers in hard enough to leave a mark.

"Yes, yes," Delphine breathed, "Oh, yes."

Cosima gently grazed Delphine's straining clit with her thumb to gauge the blonde's reaction and when she groaned, she did it again.

She kept at it, sucking at Delphine's neck as she brought her body closer to its peak. She knew Delphine wouldn't last much longer as her breathing sped up, her pulse racing. "Come for me," she ordered, "Come."

Delphine had little control over her body as she came hard in Cosima's hand, groaning as her body reached its maximum pleasure. She shook in Cosima's arms, doing her best to hold onto her.

Her body finally fell limp and she smiled, chuckling to herself with her eyes closed.

Cosima wrapped her arm over Delphine's torso and buried her face in her neck. "I. Love. You." she whispered slowly, emphasizing each word.

"Mmm," Delphine replied, unable to move a single muscle in her feeling of ecstasy.

Cosima smiled into soft skin and closed her eyes. "Thanks for tonight, baby," she whispered, "I love being with you."

Delphine smiled and took a deep breath. "Me too," she spoke softly.

"God, you've exhausted me," Cosima chuckled.

"Sleep, my love," she whispered.

Cosima hummed, perfectly content to snuggle up to Delphine, the only person she ever wanted in this world. Her heart felt full and happy as she fell asleep.

\---

_January 2032_

Cosima woke up to find the bed empty. She stretched and sauntered into the kitchen, seeing that Delphine had already made coffee. She noticed blonde curls outside the window on the front porch. She poured herself a cup of coffee and walked through the screen door to find her partner sitting, reading a book on their porch swing. Cosima grinned wide and sat next to her, placing her coffee on the table next to her.

"Morning, cutie," she smiled.

"Morning, chėrie," Delphine replied, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Cosima leaned back, enjoying the cool breeze. "We did it, Del."

"Hmm?" Delphine asked, putting her book in her lap.

"We have a house," Cosima grinned, her eyes gleaming.

They had moved in a few weeks ago, and were finally feeling like they had everything unpacked. It had been a lot of work, especially with both of them so busy at their jobs, but they got through it, and the payoff was worth it.

"It is so nice," Delphine cooed, moving closer to wrap her arm around Cosima's shoulders.

"Yeah, it is," Cosima whispered, leaning her head on Delphine's chest. She took a deep breath, feeling relaxed for the first time in a while, after being stressed out for so long.

Delphine planted a gentle kiss on Cosima's forehead. "You know, we've been together for six years now," she told her.

"Yeah, but it kind of feels like we've been together for like, 30 years, doesn't it?" Cosima joked.

Delphine giggled. "Ah yes, this relationship has taken its toll on me," she teased.

"You?" Cosima laughed, "What about me? I've been in love with you for 30 years!"

Delphine sighed. "So have I. It just took me a long time to admit it to myself," she said, a more solemn tone in her voice.

Cosima grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. "But you did. And damn, am I grateful," she chuckled.

Delphine took a deep breath. "Cosima," she started, "Did you ever think...would you ever want to get married?"

Cosima sat up, looking into Delphine's eyes intensely. "Wait, are you asking me to marry you?"

Delphine chuckled nervously. "I just wanted to bring it up. It's been on my mind."

"Oh, wow, I just thought...I don't know, I didn't think you'd want to get married again," Cosima stated.

"Cosima, I was so young the first time I got married," Delphine told her, "And I thought, maybe we could talk about it."

Cosima grinned, pulling Delphine closer and rubbing their noses together. "Del, I would love to marry you," she whispered.

"Yeah?" Delphine smiled.

"Yeah, you're my life," Cosima explained, "And I want you forever, and while we don't necessarily need a piece of paper that says it, I wouldn't mind."

Delphine gripped the sides of Cosima's head and pulled her in, pressing her lips to the brunette's. "I want that too," she breathed.

Cosima giggled, her love for the woman in front of her coursing through her. She couldn't believe how this woman made her feel, even after all these years.

"I was thinking...I mean, if you want something else, please tell me...but maybe, we could just go to the courthouse and get married, just me and you, something special for just the two of us," Delphine told her.

"That sounds absolutely perfect," Cosima replied, "I don't have any desire to have a big wedding or anything." She brought her knees up to her chest, nuzzling into Delphine's side as the blonde wrapped her arms completely around her.

"Ok," Delphine smiled, "Just the two of us."

Cosima let out a contented sigh. This was her happy place, lying in Delphine's arms, feeling the blonde's heart beat against her skin, listening to her slow breathing, rubbing gently at the back of her hand with her thumb. This was everything to her.

"I love you, Cosima," Delphine whispered, squeezing tightly.

Cosima closed her eyes to memorize the feeling.

"I love you, too, Del."

\---


End file.
